Akatsuki's New Mission
by bluewolf963
Summary: The Akatsuki succeed in their original mission, but before the group can get used to policing "their" world, a new mission from Madara will put the group in position to face the shinobi of the world, and a couple of demons. M for lemons, language, themes.
1. The Greatest Surprise

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, all the Akatsuki members would have survived_

_A/N: Here's the beginning of the sequel to Akatsuki's New Member. Just to warn everyone, I did put lemons in this one. Not really smutty lemons, but lemons all the same. Like them or not, review and let me know, and I'll consider whether or not to keep them. Please enjoy!_

**Chapter 1 – The Greatest Surprise**

"_Damn it! Why couldn't this come with an instruction manual! I'm a shinobi, not a damn construction worker!"_ Madara thought to himself, as he stared into the crater where the previous Mizukage Tower had been.

"_Well, at least I can just use a simple doton jutsu for the hole. That won't help me too much with the rest of it, though,"_ thought Madara, as he made a series of hand seals.

"Doton: Umatatechi no Jutsu, _(Earth Release: Landfill Technique)_" spoke Madara. The crater before Madara became level ground once more.

"Okay, that takes care of part of it," spoke Madara.

"Oh, would you look at that," spoke the kyuubi.

"Not bad, right?" replied Madara.

"Oh, I suppose it's nice to see you can fill a little hole, but you forgot one thing," spoke the kyuubi.

"And that would be?" asked Madara.

"Towers, like most buildings, have foundations. You know, the part that goes _under the ground_," replied the kyuubi, with a big grin on her face.

"I hate you," spoke Madara.

"Yeah, I know, I know. So, get building, Uchiha," ordered the kyuubi.

"_What have I gotten myself into?"_ Madara thought to himself, while mentally slapping himself in the face. At that point, a couple of the villagers walked by, taking note of the filled in land.

"Hey, Madara-sama, you need help with building your tower?" asked a villager.

"Know anyone who knows construction?" asked Madara.

"A lot of people, I'm the head of the village's leading construction company," replied the villager.

"Hey, your doing this with your own jutsu, not someone else's," spoke the kyuubi.

"My jutsu? Hmm... okay, if you say so," spoke Madara.

"_He gave in too easily... wait... damn him!"_ the kyuubi thought to herself as Madara activated his Sharingan, and brought the man under his control. He sent the man to gather up the members of his company for some "overtime."

"You would, wouldn't you?" asked the kyuubi.

"What? You asked me to use _my_ jutsu. What's more unique than the Sharingan? It's not like there are that many Uchiha left, thanks to me and Itachi," replied Madara.

"Fine, fine, have it your way. I didn't feel like waiting around for you to figure out how to do it on your own, anyway," spoke the kyuubi.

"So, what kind of room do you want? I can have them make quite the palace, you know," spoke Madara.

"Sweet talking me, are you? You know, after being stuck in that blond brat for so long, I could use a little luxury. Make it as big and fancy as you can," replied the kyuubi.

"I planned to, anyway. The old one was a bit stuffy. This new one is going to be luxury on the inside, while having the best defenses on the outside I can get these guys to build for me," spoke Madara, sounding rather proud of himself.

"I doubt you could make it bijuu proof. Keep that in mind, should you ever piss me off... again," replied the kyuubi.

"_I can always rebuild it...I just have to keep in mind how bad she gets once a month... I may have to have this place rebuilt a couple of times until I remember what being with her is like,"_ Madara thought to himself, as the construction workers piled onto the scene. Madara was quick to bring them under his control; he couldn't afford to have them slacking off.

The Akatsuki were in full charge in their return to Amegakure, along with Hinata, Yugito, and Nana.

"Hey, shouldn't you be, like, helping the Mizukage, or something, hm?" asked Deidara of Nana.

"Why? You guys are going to throw a big ass party, right? I'm not missing out!" shouted Nana.

Ookami and Deidara shuddered at the thought of what Kisame and Nana planned on doing during the party. Ever since Itachi told them the pair liked to henge as Itachi and take Itachi's supposed role of "reviving" the clan, they didn't think the same again of the pair.

"What's wrong with you two?" asked Sasori.

"You don't want to know!!" shouted Deidara and Ookami in unison.

"Knowing you two, I probably don't," replied Sasori.

"So, who are we inviting this time around?" asked Kisame.

"Anyone and everyone, same as always," replied Pein.

"Works for me," replied Kisame.

"You think it's safe to invite anyone from Konoha? Madara did kind of defile their monument, after all," spoke Deidara.

"That was kind of funny. The look on the Hokage's face was nothing short of priceless," spoke Ookami.

"Fucking bitch was surprised, wasn't she?" spoke Hidan.

In Konoha, Tsunade was still fuming over what had taken place.

"That bastard thinks he can just etch his face into our monument like that!!" shouted Tsunade, as she destroyed her desk.

"They could have done much worse," spoke an ANBU in the room.

"They took a stance of no aggression towards us! The shouldn't have done anything!!" shouted Tsunade, while placing a hole in the wall behind her.

"_Why do I get a feeling the monthly maintenance bill on the tower is going to be a lot higher this month than it has been for the past year?"_ thought a couple of the ANBU, as Tsunade continued to take out her frustrations on the first things she could hit.

"Hey Tsunade!" shouted Jiraiya.

Tsunade took a quick look at the perverted man, who appeared to be far too happy given the current situation. The ANBU could only stare as Jiraiya became the target of her aggression.

"That would be the fourth time he almost died, right?" asked one of the ANBU.

"And the second time by the same person," replied another.

"It should be okay to go into Konoha, just as long as we stay away from the Hokage," spoke Itachi, "She is known for her rather short temper."

"It's not like the target of her anger is with us, hm," spoke Deidara.

"She doesn't discriminate when she goes into a blind rage," replied Itachi.

"Is that so? Hear that shit head, there's a descent looking older woman out there with something in common with you," spoke Hidan, while looking at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu appeared to think it over for a moment. He wouldn't mind giving the Hokage the "Kakuzu Special," (which involves tentacles, lots and lots of tentacles) but Hidan wasn't really thinking of his well being. Hidan found his arms flying away from the rest of his body.

"What the fuck!?" shouted Hidan.

"You know to watch your mouth," spoke Kakuzu.

"Damn, that's a bit harsh," spoke Ookami.

"I would watch it, if I were you. You don't keep living when _your_ head parts ways with your body. Plus, I still owe you for the sword incident," replied Kakuzu.

"Right, right," spoke Ookami.

"Enough with the fighting. We have the world in our hands now. No more fighting between members," spoke Konan.

"Or I'll unleash Itachi upon you," spoke Pein.

There was silence from all members present.

"Now show some enthusiasm. Split off and find some people to invite to the party. We'll be busy setting up the base for it," spoke Pein.

"Hai!" shouted the members, as they dashed off in separate directions.

"So, Ookami, are we going to Konoha, hm?" asked Deidara.

"Yeah, might as well find Itachi's brother, and Kakashi. Just have to make sure that blond is no where near," spoke Ookami.

"He's not that bad," spoke Hinata.

"Are you kidding? What did you see in him, anyway?" asked Ookami.

"He does work really hard, and has the spirit never to give up, even in the worst of situations. And it is kind of cute when he is being a knucklehead," replied Hinata.

"I suppose he does have some positive attributes, then. Did you want to invite him?" asked Ookami.

"I liked him, but I love you. I just wanted to say he's not all bad. It would probably be best if we didn't bring him," replied Hinata.

"I'm glad for that, I don't have the tolerance for dealing with him again, hm," spoke Deidara.

The three reached Konoha by the end of the day. Upon entering, they were quickly surrounded by ANBU.

"She's still mad, isn't she?" asked Ookami.

"You have no idea. Actually, we're not here to bring you to her for punishment," spoke one of the ANBU.

"Then why are you here?" asked Deidara.

"To protect you from her," replied another ANBU.

"Oh..." muttered Deidara, Ookami, and Hinata.

"Why are you here?" asked the ANBU.

"We're here to tell Uchiha Sasuke and Hatake Kakashi about something," replied Ookami.

"Very well, but be sure to stay away from the kage tower," spoke the ANBU, as they disappeared.

"Good advice, let's go," spoke Ookami.

Kisame, Itachi, and Nana headed off in a random direction. Itachi said he had a good feeling about the direction they were heading in.

"So, how many women are we going for this time?" asked Kisame.

"Let's try to make it well over twenty," spoke Itachi.

"How did you plan on doing that? Plan on using that Sharingan of yours?" asked Nana.

"No," replied Itachi.

"Itachi thinks that makes it too easy. He strings them along with looks alone," spoke Kisame.

"Is that all? Well, I have an idea," spoke Nana.

"Um... henge's don't work. They always check," replied Kisame, remembering how horrified the women were he tried to bring to a party when they found out he was a shark man, rather than the handsome Itachi he changed himself into.

"Henge? What do I need that for?" asked Nana, as she loosened her top a little.

"Um... what are you doing?" asked Kisame.

"I'm not going to bring any guys along, if that's what you're worried about. You know you're the only man in my life. This is for bicurious women," replied Nana, with a wink.

"Oh, I get it," replied Kisame, with a shark-toothed grin.

"I saw a group of women walking towards a village up ahead," spoke Itachi.

"Let's get to work!" shouted Nana.

"So, where are we going?" asked Hidan, already having a good idea what the answer was going to be.

"There is a bounty in this area, 40 million ryou," replied Kakuzu.

"Predictable as always. This involves fucking money," spoke Hidan.

"Beer doesn't buy itself," replied Kakuzu.

"I know, I know, but seriously, it's not like we don't have a huge reserve fund, thanks to all the money management bullshit you keep enforcing on us," spoke Hidan.

"We're getting the bounty," spoke Kakuzu.

"Fine, but keep in mind there isn't enough fucking money in the world to get you fucked," replied Hidan.

Hidan found his head hitting the ground. His body hit the ground several feet in front of him.

"Get back here, bastard!" shouted Hidan.

"This'll be easier without you around to piss me off," replied Kakuzu," Besides, you can't fight without your arms."

Hidan would have flicked off Kakuzu if he could. He thought over how he was going to get even with the stitched-nin as he took off after his bounty.

"Have anyone in mind?" asked Zetsu's white half.

"No one in particular," replied Zetsu's black half.

"Not like there is anyone who would be interested in joining us for anything," spoke Zetsu's white half.

"True, but we don't really put that much effort into it," replied Zetsu's black half.

"You're thinking of actually trying this time?" asked Zetsu's white half.

"You don't know until you try," replied Zetsu's black half.

"Fine, let's see what we can do," spoke Zetsu's white half.

Sasori didn't have any desire to track down someone to invite. He wasn't the social type. Not to mention he already had someone he liked with him. Sasori looked over to the bijuu with him. The Nanabi no Taka was a stunning beauty, with her orange, feather hair and tails.

"Do you think you could get us there before Pein and Konan?" asked Sasori.

"I could if I flew, with you on my back. Why?" asked the nanabi.

"It would be nice to have a little time alone before the others showed up," replied Sasori.

"Hm, I suppose. Okay, Majutsu: Ma no Tou, _(Demon Technique: Demonic Ascension)_" spoke the nanabi. She took the form of the hawk once again. Sasori hopped on top of her, and the two took off for Amegakure at their best speed.

"What the?" spoke Pein, as he saw Sasori and the nanabi tear past him and Konan, quickly moving out of sight.

"I wonder what those two could be in a rush for?" asked Konan in a mischievous tone.

"He is that impatient, but I would think he would be a little more sensible than that," replied Pein.

"Who knows? Maybe they just want to go get someone in Suna. It is in the same direction," spoke Konan.

"You and I both know he isn't going anywhere near Kaze no Kuni," replied Pein.

"I guess. We'll know soon enough, won't we?" asked Konan.

"Sooner than you think," spoke Pein, as he pulled out a scroll. He bit down on his finger, and swiped some blood on the scroll. Pein used the scroll to summon his animal path, who began a quick series of hand seals.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu, _(Summoning Technique)_" spoke Animal Path Pein. A bird with multiple piercings and Rinnegan eyes appeared.

"Is it a race to you?" asked Konan.

"Maybe I want a little alone time with my angel," spoke Deva Path Pein.

"Besides, I was getting a little stiff. Just got myself back together, after all," replied Animal Path Pein.

"Well, if that's what you want," spoke Konan, in a seductive tone.

Pein and Konan tore after Sasori and the Nanabi. Seeing as they were in Kiri, anyway, they were going to need to fly in order to get back to the mainland.

In Konoha, Deidara, Hinata, and Ookami finally caught up to Sasuke. He was desperately tending to two pregnant kunoichi.

"Uh... I just had to get this idea in my head of reviving the clan..." muttered Sasuke.

"What was that!?" shouted Sakura.

"What did you say!?" shouted Ino.

"I said you two are the loveliest ladies I've ever seen!" shouted Sasuke.

"Which one of us is lovelier?" asked both girls in unison.

"_Oh Hell, there's no way to win this one..."_ thought Sasuke.

"Hey, Sasuke!" shouted Ookami.

"_Saved!"_ thought Sasuke.

Sasuke rushed out the door, expecting to see Naruto there, since he was always loud, but somehow had remarkable timing. He was surprised to see two members of Akatsuki and the Hyuga heiress.

"Yo!" spoke Ookami.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Sasuke.

"We're having another party, of course, and you're invited, hm," spoke Deidara.

"I would like nothing more than to get away from the... lovely... ladies behind me, but I can't really just run off on them. I do have some sense of responsibility," spoke Sasuke.

"Couldn't you just make a couple kage bunshin? _(Shadow Clones)_" asked Deidara.

"They would get angry the moment they popped. Believe me when I say that wouldn't take as long as I would like it to," spoke Sasuke.

"What about a chi bunshin? _(Blood Clone)_" asked Ookami.

"Eh?" asked Deidara and Sasuke.

"Oh, right, you guys wouldn't know. Gift from the sandaime mizukage. He found a way to make much more solid clones that last a lot longer through a kind of combination of space/time jutsu with bunshin jutsu," explained Ookami, "Watch."

Ookami bit his thumb, and made a series of hand seals, before slamming down the hand he bit into the ground. A bunshin of Ookami appeared.

"I'm way tougher than a kage bunshin. The number of hits I can take depends on how much chakra he put in me. With enough, it's possible to create a realistic corpse," spoke Ookami's bunshin.

"Very useful, wouldn't you say?" replied Ookami.

"Indeed," spoke Sasuke, who had his Sharingan active, internalizing the jutsu. He quickly performed it himself, pumping in plenty of chakra, so the bunshin could take a lot of abuse.

"That should take care of it. I'm going to go enjoy myself. You're going to lady-sit," spoke Sasuke. His bunshin didn't seem amused, as he trudged back inside.

"I sure hope you put a lot of chakra in him. I wouldn't want to be you if those two found out..." muttered Ookami.

"Sasuke!!" shouted both kunoichi. Sasuke shuddered as the memory of his bunshin caught up to him.

"How did they do that, hm?" asked Deidara.

"They just... know..." muttered Sasuke.

"Where did you think you were going to go!!" shouted both kunoichi, as they stormed outside.

"I was going to go to a party. I didn't want you to know... because I know you won't be able to drink with the rest of us," replied Sasuke, as he thought up a quick lie.

"Oh, that's all?" asked Sakura.

"We won't feel left out. We don't have to drink to have a good time. It's not like we're that far along, we can still have a little fun," replied Ino, while winking.

"Oh my..." spoke Hinata.

"Well, might as well bring them along... wait... is that who I think it is?" asked Ookami.

"You don't want to know what my scope sees, hm," replied Deidara.

"I already saw her with my Sogekigan," spoke Ookami.

"Um... oh..." spoke Hinata, as she used her Byakugan.

"You guys are screwed," spoke Sasuke.

"Who is it?" asked Sakura.

"It's Tsunade. She did say that she was going to check up on you two sometime today. Really bad timing for these guys," spoke Sasuke.

"Hey, you guys are still going to keep her away from us, right?" asked Ookami. A note appeared in his hand.

"We don't want to die young, good luck," read the note.

"They ditched us, didn't they, hm?" asked Deidara.

"Yeah, we're screwed," spoke Ookami.

"Akatsuki? Akatsuki!!" shouted Tsunade.

"Deidara?" asked Ookami.

"Ookami?" asked Deidara.

"Your the best friend I ever had!" shouted both shinobi.

"I wish Yugito was here for me to tell her how much I love her!" shouted Deidara.

"Hinata, I'll always remember you!" shouted Ookami.

"You guys dare show yourselves after what you did!?" shouted Tsunade.

"Hey, it was Madara's idea! I didn't think to do that to your monument! And it wasn't us who made fun of your huge jugs!" shouted Ookami.

"I forgot about that last part... now you're both dead!!" shouted Tsunade.

"_Oh, for crying out loud, looks like I'll have to take care of this one," _spoke the rokubi, who was hoping to take a nice long nap. She quickly hopped out of Ookami, and looked at the furious Hokage in front of them.

"Who the Hell are you!?" shouted Tsunade.

"Me? The Rokubi no Ookami, of course. Now then, I know Madara pissed you off a lot, but these two only wanted to blow away the Mizukage. They didn't want to do that to your monument," spoke the rokubi.

"Yeah, it looks better with Madara on there, anyway, hm," spoke Deidara.

"I agree, he's the only one smiling. They should be happy, right?" asked Ookami.

"You boys just made it worse..." muttered the rokubi.

"I'm going to grind your skulls into the ground harder than when I beat the life out of Naruto and Jiraiya!!" shouted Tsunade.

"Eh?" asked the two Akatsuki members, as they looked at Sasuke.

"Naruto laughed at the breast insult, while Jiraiya just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Been nice knowing you guys. I'll tell everyone what happened at the party," replied Sasuke.

"Die!!" shouted Tsunade, as she charged at the two shaking members of Akatsuki.

The two were awaiting their imminent death, only to have nothing happen. The two wondered what was going on.

"Did it happen so fast we didn't notice?" asked Ookami.

"Am I going to be stuck with you in the afterlife, hm?" asked Deidara.

The two realized that they were still alive when they saw the others. They noticed the rokubi had caught Tsunade's punch.

"Seriously, is this the best a kage can do? Kind of sad..." muttered the rokubi.

"Why you!!" shouted Tsunade, as she attempted a kick into the rokubi's gut. The bijuu smiled as she grabbed a hold of Tsunade's leg, swung her around, and launched her at her own head on Mt. Hokage.

"Holy shit!!" shouted Deidara and Ookami in unison.

"Wow..." muttered Hinata.

"Damn..." muttered Sasuke.

"Um... shouldn't we, like... help her, or something?" asked the ANBU in the back.

"She's going to kill the first living thing she sees. It ain't going to be me!" shouted another ANBU.

"It takes a lady to deal with a lady, I'll take care of it," spoke a female ANBU.

The others present breathed a sigh of relief as they watched the female ANBU go after Tsunade.

"And that's how you take care of business. Any questions?" asked the rokubi.

Deidara and Ookami shook their heads.

"Well, now that I can't take my nap, we might as well find Kakashi. We should probably bring Itachi's fiance, too. I'm sure he'll be glad to see her," spoke the rokubi.

Deidara and Ookami nodded, both somewhat fearful of the rokubi.

"I'm not going to do anything to the two of you. Hell, I can't do anything to Ookami at all... at least nothing life threatening. Now then, let's go, shall we?" asked the rokubi.

Ookami and Deidara could only nod again.

"You two are pathetic," spoke Sasuke.

"Hey, you have _that_ as a kage! You should know to fear certain women!" shouted Ookami and Deidara.

"I have _these_ as girlfriends," whispered Sasuke, while looking at Ino and Sakura.

While Sasuke appeared to be distracted, a random kunoichi attempted to strike at Sasuke from behind. She was repelled by his katana, and sent flying in some random direction.

"I get tired of that. Every time red clouds enter this village, some other kunoichi thinks she can catch me off guard. Let's go," spoke Sasuke, as he led the way to Kakashi's apartment.

Yugito decided she would invite Kirabi to the party. He was her brother like figure. As she made her way into the village of Kumogakure no Sato, the hachibi no jinchuuriki was more than happy to see her.

"Kirabi, what's gotten into you?" asked Yugito.

"He won't let up! Keeps talking about how I got beat up!" shouted Kirabi.

"He recorded it on his crystal ball, didn't he?" asked Yugito.

"That's right! He got the whole fight. Talking about the Uchiha no Kyuuban Panchi! _(Uchiha Sucker Punch)_ I can't even enjoy my lunch... okay, that was a lame throw in, but you get the point, right?" asked Kirabi.

"I get it... so, want to come to a party? The Akatsuki are having a grand celebration," spoke Yugito.

"You're kidding right? After that fight? I don't think I'm interested. It's bad enough everyone is scared after what they did in Kiri. It made the Raikage get teary," replied Kirabi.

"I love you like a brother, but knock off the rhymes. It's getting old really quick," spoke Yugito.

"Gomen, Yugito-chan. I would rather not see them ever again," replied Kirabi.

"Oh, come on. One of them is my boyfriend. They're not so bad. That fight was their business. They won't rub it in, or anything. I'm pretty sure Itachi wouldn't do that to you. He's not the bragging type," spoke Yugito.

"Gah, you really want me there, don't you?" asked Kirabi.

"Of course! It would be so much more fun!" shouted Yugito.

"_Go, and have fun,"_ spoke the hachibi.

"_Really? You wanting to go to a party?" _replied Kirabi.

"_I'm tired of hearing your brother bitch and bitch and bitch about how the Akatsuki have assumed free range control over the world... and I'm damn sure tired about hearing about that fight with the Uchiha and explosive nut!"_ shouted the hachibi.

"Alright, we'll go," spoke Kirabi.

"The hachibi convince you?" asked Yugito.

"He's wants to do something... different..." replied Kirabi.

Yugito smiled, and took Kirabi in hand, running out of the village like a happy school girl.

So, another bash, huh? It would be nice to get away from the Hokage. She's been a little unstable lately," spoke Kakashi.

"We figured you would be interested," spoke Ookami.

"Kakashi-sensei!!" shouted a certain blond "pest."

Those present mentally face palmed themselves, knowing full well there was no way to turn the blond away once he saw all of them there.

"Sweet! You guys are having another party!" shouted Naruto.

"_How is it this boy can't figure anything out regarding his training, and yet he knew right away they were here for another party invite,"_ thought Kakashi.

"_At least we can kill him now,"_ thought Ookami and Deidara.

In Amegakure, Sasori and the nanabi had burst through the balcony door. The pair looked around to see if they were the first two there, then bolted for Sasori's room. The puppet master quickly locked the door tight, after placing a white sock on the door.

"White sock?" asked the nanabi.

"Just in case. Trust me, you'll be glad I put that there," spoke Sasori, as he entered his workshop. The nanabi followed out of curiosity. Sasori found the chamber he held his human body in, and swapped out of his puppet body.

"Oh, so you have a human body, too?" asked the nanabi.

"Yeah, I don't use it too often, though. I just use it to eat and... do other things you can't do as a puppet," replied Sasori.

The nanabi just looked at Sasori. She noted how youthful he appeared. He was a child to her, not that she was aware of any human pushing her numbers in age.

"So, I remember you saying that none of you had a name other than the sanbi, right?" asked Sasori.

"Oh, yeah. Kawazaki did so out of convenience, since he regularly worked with Kiri's shinobi, since the death of his last jinchuuriki," replied the nanabi.

"Well, since you're no longer confined to Takimi, we should choose a name for you. Something nice and meaningful, or something that just relates to you," spoke Sasori.

"Hmm... well, since I've been passed down through the Takasaki clan, I may as well choose that as my family name. As for my given name... hmm... give me a moment to think about that," replied the nanabi, while smiling at Sasori. The puppet master returned her smile.

"Nana, Takasaki Nana will be my name from now on," spoke the Nanabi.

"A pretty name for a pretty lady," replied Sasori, "Would you like to see the rest of my workshop?"

"I am curious," replied Nana.

"Okay, just don't go through that door over there," spoke Sasori, while pointing to a steel door that appeared to be locked down tight.

"What's in there?" asked Nana.

"I keep the bodies in there," replied Sasori.

"Oh... you're right, I wouldn't be too interested in that," spoke Nana.

"Most aren't. I think the last time someone thought they would try to go in there, they came out traumatized," replied Sasori, with an evil grin on his face. Nana just chuckled at the idea, and followed Sasori as he showed the bijuu his creations.

Back in Konoha, the ever increasing group had made their way into the Hyuga compound, seeking out Itachi's fiance.

"About time you guys showed up," spoke Kiyomi. She had several bags with her. Her daughters were beside her.

"What's tou-san?" asked Kuromi.

"I was hoping to see him here," spoke Akemi.

"Um... uh... what are you guys doing? It's just a party..." muttered Ookami.

"Yeah, you guys look like you're moving out, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Hey, Itachi said we could be together after your mission was over. Rumors spread fast, you know. Mission's done, and I want to be with my Itachi. Problem?" asked Kiyomi.

"No problem, mam!" shouted Deidara and Ookami, knowing full well what would happen if they tried to tell the woman no.

"What is it with you guys and cowering behind women? She doesn't really seem too impressive to me. She's just a regular member of the Hyuga clan," spoke Sasuke.

The room became deathly silent. The killing intent filling the room was enough to even make S-rank shinobi pee their pants.

"What?" asked Sasuke.

The young Uchiha found himself facing two fuma shuriken, several kunai, and multiple fireballs. The young Uchiha avoided them all, only to be sent crashing through the wall by Kiyomi's fist.

"And I didn't do that to fuck you like those two did, you pompous ass of a Uchiha!!" shouted Kiyomi, while holding her hands over her girls' ears.

"What!?" shouted Ino and Sakura.

"You heard me, now stuff it! I don't want to beat the stuffing out of pregnant women!" shouted Kiyomi.

Ino and Sakura chose to keep their mouths shut, not wanting to know what the woman would do to them after seeing what she did the Sasuke.

"Now then, you!" shouted Kiyomi, while pointing at Ookami.

"What did I do!?" shouted Ookami, while hiding behind Deidara.

"Hey! I ain't your shield, hm!!" shouted Deidara.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to know what you meant when you said party earlier," replied Kiyomi.

"Oh, that. Well..." spoke Ookami.

The group told Kiyomi about the big party the Akatsuki were going to have, and that they were there to invite her.

"Oh, that's why you came... wait, where's Itachi?" asked Kiyomi.

"So, Itachi, Nana, how many did you guys rope in?" asked Kisame, not wanting to count the numbers of the herd following the pair.

"Hmm... we got twenty-three this time. Nana is quite gifted in the art of gathering women," replied Itachi.

"You got that right. I can net both; that's how I am!" shouted Nana with pride.

At that moment, Itachi felt a cold shiver run up his spine, while sneezing.

"Itachi, you okay?" asked Kisame.

"I felt something... I'm not sure if this is a good something, or a bad something, though," spoke Itachi.

"Eh? Someone must be thinking about you, eh?" asked Kisame.

"Perhaps," replied Itachi, while securing his shirt, much to the disappointment of the women behind him.

"Well, would you look at that," spoke Konan, as she and Pein arrived at their base. Konan had noticed the white sock on Sasori's door.

"He is an impatient little bastard, isn't he?" spoke Pein.

"I guess so," replied Konan.

"Well, we still have the place to ourselves. I can always set up the place and be alone with you at the same time," spoke Pein.

"I was wondering how long you were planning to wait," replied Konan.

Nagato appeared quickly, and took Konan in hand to their room, placing a white sock on their door knob.

"We finally met our goal. No one would start a fight for fear of what we would do to them. It's amazing how things work out, eh Konan-chan?" asked Nagato.

"It is, Nagato-kun," replied Konan.

"And we managed to get rid of 'good boy.' This can't get any better."

"I can make it a little better," spoke Konan, as she removed her cloak. Nagato looked her body up and down. She chose to wear a form fitting, sleeveless top under her cloak. Nagato caressed her arms up and down, kissing her gently on the shoulders.

"You sure are in the mood, aren't you?" asked Konan, in a seductive voice. Nagato gave his response in the form of sliding his hands under her shirt. Konan opted to remove Nagato's shirt, looking over his well toned body. Nagato slid off Konan's shirt, and cast his hands over Konan's soft, white bra. Konan shivered a little, feeling Nagato's hand through the bra. She felt herself getting wet as Nagato continued to stroke her body. Konan removed her pants, prompting Nagato to do the same. Konan saw how stiff Nagato became from seeing her near naked form. Nagato began kissing Konan up and down her body.

"Even better than usual," spoke Konan, shivering a little as Nagato began stroking her panties.

"It always is when things are going so well," replied Nagato.

Nagato slipped off Konan's bra and panties. He gently licked Konan's nipples, making her shudder at the feeling. Nagato played with both of her breasts, making sure Konan was feeling as comfortable as possible. The sheets under Konan were getting wet as Konan continued to get excited, reveling in the sensations Nagato was sending up and down her body. Konan reached over to Nagato's boxers, and began gently grabbing him through them. She massaged his member playfully as Nagato wrapped his hand on her womanhood.

Nagato and Konan began kissing passionately, their tongues playing with one another as the two continued to pleasure one another. Konan removed Nagato's boxers, and threw them aside. Konan motioned for Nagato to enter her with his member. Nagato gently sat up, and positioned himself over her body. When she was ready, Nagato gently eased himself into her. He gently lay on top of Konan, and began shifting his body, gently pulling in and out of her. Konan shivered at the initial entry, and began to glow as Nagato continued gently thrusting in and out of her. The two began kissing passionately again, prompting Nagato to increase his speed. The two kissed ever more passionately as the pair could feel their climax coming. The two shared a deep kiss and Nagato exploded inside of Konan. The two shivered from the sensation, looking deeply into each other's eyes.

"It hasn't been this good in so long..." spoke Konan.

"Not since after we took over the village..." spoke Nagato.

The two enjoyed each other's bodies, taking in each other's scents and looks of passion. The pair gently kissed again, keeping to themselves for a couple hours.

The paths of Pein out in the base smiled at what Nagato was doing. Given how deep Nagato's feelings and passions ran, they each responded to the feelings Nagato was experiencing.

"Konan-chan..." muttered the paths, as they continued their work.

In Sasori's room, the puppet master had finished showing off his workshop to Nana. The two were sitting on Sasori's bed. Nana had her arms wrapped around Sasori.

"Sasori... it's been so long, so long since I was this happy just being with someone. I haven't trusted anyone since I was captured and placed into a jinchuuriki. It's nice to have that again," spoke Nana, as she kissed Sasori on the lips. Sasori smiled, and returned her kiss.

"I've never felt like this. I never really found someone who I could appreciate. Not like this. I haven't had true feelings since the death of my parents," replied Sasori.

"I'm glad we found each other. Even if it was just a mission for you, it was more for me. It's like fate brought us together," spoke Nana.

"I would like to think the same. Actually, it's all thanks to Ookami. If he didn't come here, I would have hunted him down, and one of the others would have gone after you. Who knows what would have happened otherwise," replied Sasori, deep in thought over how different things could be.

"Who knows? I'm just glad things are as they are now," replied Nana.

The pair kissed again. Both wondered if they should give into their instincts. If they were younger, they would have already been tearing each other's clothes off. Having world experience, though, both opted to avoid giving in. They're relationship was only starting, and both knew it wouldn't be proper to go too fast. They were, after all, planning on living a long, _long_ life with one another. There are some things even someone as impatient as Sasori won't rush. The two kept to themselves, talking to one another about their past experiences before leaving Sasori's room. They noticed Pein setting up the house, along with Mikoto. Each of Pein's bodies appeared to be hiding a grin.

"_Those two aren't subtle at all, are they?"_ thought Sasori.

"_My, my, he seems rather happy... oh,"_ thought Nana, as she caught onto what Pein and Konan had been up to.

"It will be nice to have everyone here again. I don't condone everything, but I suppose kids will be kids," spoke Mikoto.

"Who are you calling kids?" asked Kakuzu, as he and Hidan arrived. Kakuzu had his tentacle creatures help in bringing in several cases of beer.

"Well... you know what I mean," spoke Mikoto.

"You guys use a high bounty to pay for this?" asked Sasori.

"What the fuck do you think took us so long? He just had to have his bounty. It's how the prick is," replied Hidan.

"I'm in too good a mood to be bothered by that. Where is everyone else?" asked Kakuzu.

"They'll be here soon enough. You know how everyone goes after their own guests," answered Sasori, as he decided to help Human Path Pein with hanging up party lights. Nana decided she would help Mikoto with cooking the party food.

Over the next day, the guests arrived one by one. Itachi brought over his herd of women, and had them stay in Kisame's room, convincing them it was his room. Ookami and Deidara soon appeared with the group from Konoha.

"Alright! Party time!!" shouted Naruto.

"Wait, kid, we're using the 'special' party room tonight," spoke Ookami, thinking up a quick way to get rid of the bothersome blond.

"A very 'special' room," spoke Deidara, following Ookami's lead.

Ookami led Naruto to Hidan's room, and let him walk into Hidan's ritual chamber. Deidara smiled at the idea Ookami had in mind.

"Now, just wait a moment, we have to get something real quick," spoke Ookami.

"Um... okay, but why is everyone else over in the other room, and why are there a ton of weapons in here. Plus, it stinks in here," replied Naruto.

"It's a horror themed party. I got rather artistic, didn't I, hm?" asked Deidara.

"Oh yeah, you did a great job!" shouted Naruto.

Ookami and Deidara left Naruto alone, and found Hidan.

"Hey, Hidan. I got you a sacrifice!" shouted Ookami.

"Really?" asked Hidan.

"Well, you can't kill him... just... have as much fun as you can without killing him," spoke Deidara.

"Yeah, alright, it's something do while waiting for this thing to start," spoke Hidan, as he made his way for his ritual chamber. Deidara and Ookami had grand smiles crossing their faces at the thought of what Hidan would do to Naruto. They found the priest emerging from his chamber a few minutes later; his head was covered in blood.

"Damn! What did you do to him, hm?" asked Deidara.

Hidan frowned, before grabbing both Ookami and Deidara by their necks.

"What the fuck was that!? The little shit head just wouldn't stand still!? And the bastard kept talking about how he was going to be Hokage one day. The little prick even tried to copy me with my tools. The ass can't draw a Jashin circle to save himself. And he just wouldn't shut up! I sent a pike through my head to shut out the sound, not that it worked. Now, I have a fucking headache from both the blond prick, and the damn pike I rammed into my skull. I'm going to fucking rip your damned throats out!!" shouted Hidan.

"We beg forgiveness!!" shouted Ookami and Deidara.

"You should put those two down," spoke Konan.

"Yeah, have a good time, and enjoy yourselves," spoke a strange man with red hair and blue eyes.

"Friend of yours?" asked Hidan, while dropping Deidara and Ookami on the ground. The pair ran off, not wanting to share space with the short tempered Jashinist.

"Yeah, you could say that," replied Konan.

Zetsu, Madara, and the Kyuubi arrived, followed by Yugito and Kirabi.

"Hey all, how's life?" asked Madara.

"So, you did come, eh?" asked Kisame.

"Yeah, Zetsu told me you guys were having a party, not that I couldn't figure that much out on my own," replied Madara.

"How goes the Mizukage business?" asked Kisame's Nana.

"It goes. I left a Chi Bunshin _(Blood Clone)_ to look after things while I was here," replied Madara.

"I swear, he finds a way to cheat at everything," spoke the kyuubi.

"I even cheated death! Heh heh," spoke Madara.

"Hey, where is Itachi!" shouted Kiyomi. Her little girls were standing beside her, looking around at all the "interesting" people.

"He's over there," spoke Kakuzu, while pointing in the direction of the rooms.

Kiyomi headed for the room with the most noise, and allowed herself in. What she saw forced her to cover the eyes of her girls immediately.

"Uchiha Itachi!!" shouted Kiyomi, upon seeing Itachi with at least three girls attached to him, and several more in the room. They were all drinking heavily.

"Cheating on me, are you!! I'll show you!!" shouted Kiyomi, as a Fuma Shuriken was aimed at Itachi's head.

"Someone call my name?" asked Itachi, as he appeared behind Kiyomi, embracing her in his arms. Kiyomi stuck a kunai in Itachi's hand.

"You think sweet talking me will help!!" shouted Kiyomi.

Itachi used his free hand to point back into the room. It turned out to be Kisame's room. Kisame was in his normal henge routine.

"Huh?" asked Kiyomi, "You have a twin, or something?"

"That's Kisame," whispered Itachi.

"Have a good day, sorry for the distraction," spoke Kiyomi, as she closed the door.

Kiyomi heard a couple of the women in the room say something about how Kiyomi was a bitch or interrupting them.

"What did you say!?" shouted Kiyomi.

"Easy, that's enough... ow..." muttered Itachi, as Kiyomi twisted the kunai in Itachi's hand.

"Tou-san!!" shouted Akemi and Kuromi.

Itachi smiled.

"Tou-san, what were they doing in there?" asked Kuromi.

"Yeah, it looked like they were having fun!" shouted Akemi.

"Umm... they were having... uh... doing something adults do in groups, yep. Something they shouldn't do, but they are doing anyway. You should never do what they were doing. Remember not to repeat what they were doing... yeah... " spoke Itachi.

"Listen to your father, he knows what he's taking about... I think," spoke Kiyomi, muttering the last part so only Itachi could hear it.

Out in the living area, the party was in full swing. Noting the condition of Ino and Sakura, Mikoto, Konan, and the nanabi were preparing some nonalcoholic drinks, and talking to the girls about how they were about to be parents.

"So, you guys ready to have children? You are rather young," asked Mikoto.

"We are, but Sasuke really wanted to revive the clan, the best way is to have more children early on, so we have more energy to take care of them," spoke Sakura.

"Yeah. It's not like I was a really hard core shinobi. Not nearly as serious as Sasuke. I don't mind looking after a family, I just hope Sasuke does his part," replied Ino.

"He will. I'll make sure of that. He thinks he's so powerful, but I have power over him in ways that he'll never overcome," spoke Mikoto.

"It must be nice to be able to have children," spoke Konan.

"What do you mean, Konan? You can't?" asked Mikoto.

"I could, but not naturally, due to injuries I've sustained over the years as a shinobi. Pein and I have thought about it, but we decided it would be a bit difficult to raise children with things as they are. I think he is interested in passing on his kekkei genkai, though," replied Konan.

"Is he, now? Well, I hope you find a way to make things work for you," replied Mikoto.

"I wonder if Sasori will want children?" asked Nana.

"He might, he might not. He doesn't seem the family type," spoke Mikoto.

"He doesn't?" asked Nana.

"Well, he didn't seem the type to be interested in relationships, so who knows," replied Mikoto.

"Um, Nana-chan, do you even know if you could have children with Sasori?" asked Sakura.

"I'm not sure, really. I've never tried. In thousands of years, I've never met someone like him. I always thought I would roam alone. I guess we'll know one of these days. I don't think he wants to rush into it," replied Nana.

"Really?" asked Mikoto.

"He's so impatient, though. And he did put that white sock on your door," spoke Konan.

"Yeah, he said that was for just in case. We didn't do anything, really. He just gave me a tour of his workshop and talked," replied Nana.

"Really?" asked Konan.

"Yep!" replied Nana.

"Did he show you the room where he keeps the bodies?" asked Konan.

"No, he told me it would be best if I avoided that room," replied Nana.

"As you should; it's not for the faint of heart. I know you're a bijuu, and all, but you don't really seem the cold, ruthless type," spoke Konan.

"You do seem rather calm and collected. I always thought you were all rampaging monsters, after the kyuubi attacked Konoha. I suppose just about everyone in Konoha thinks that way about your kind," spoke Mikoto.

"That's a fair assessment. Truth be told, we don't attack a place unless we have reason to do so. The only reason the kyuubi attacked you was because she was under the control of Madara at the time. She had nothing against your village, and only attacked when she felt threatened," replied Nana.

"Makes sense to me. I guess we all had the wrong impression of you," spoke Sakura.

"It's okay, really. We do have a bad reputation. It seems the only place where we aren't really looked down upon is in Kumo, and that's probably because the Raikage's brother is a jinchuuriki. I'm sure the other villages will, over time, have a better outlook of us. It'll take time, that's all," replied Nana.

"Change always does. I know it took a while for us to adjust to being the leaders of this village after our final battle against Hanzo. It took the villagers a while to adjust, as well, though, I think they adjusted to us before we adjusted to them," spoke Konan.

"It is a lot of responsibility. I'm not surprised it took you a while," spoke Ino, "I know I could never do it. I don't see how Naruto thinks he can handle it."

"I doubt he's thought his dream over as well as he should have. The prestige is one thing, but handling politics is quite possibly one of the most difficult tasks for a shinobi," replied Konan.

"Tsunade-sama talks about it every now and then about how difficult the job is, and often tells me that she wonders why she took the job. Then she looks at the smiling youth of the village, and remembers the positive aspects of the job," spoke Sakura.

"Ah, yes, seeing smiles on the villagers, and hearing cheers for us as we make speeches... that does indeed make it worthwhile," replied Konan.

In another area, Nagato was having a conversation with Sasori, Deidara, Ookami, and Kakashi.

"You know, I had this strange dream a few nights ago," spoke Nagato.

"Oh, what was that?" asked Kakashi.

"It was like how I could have been in another life. It felt so real, which is why I remember it," replied Nagato.

"What were you like in this other life, Nagato-san?" asked Ookami.

"Well, I suppose I can tell you guys this part now, since it doesn't really matter so much. Don't tell anyone else, though. Want to know a secret?" asked Nagato.

"Sure, why not?" replied Ookami.

"I wouldn't mind; it can't be any more awkward then when I found out that Tobi was the founder of Akatsuki," spoke Sasori.

"It would be nice to hear an interesting story, though I would like to know what this has to do with that dream you were talking about," replied Kakashi.

"I have to tell you this for the dream to make sense. You see Pein over there," spoke Nagato, while pointing at the Deva Path. As if on cue, Deva Path walked over to the group.

"He's going to tell you something interesting, isn't he?" asked Deva Path Pein.

"Something like that," replied Nagato.

"Well, out with it, come on, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Yes, I want to know," replied Sasori.

"Well..." spoke Nagato.

"We," spoke Deva Path Pein.

"Are."

"One."

"And."

"The."

"Same," spoke Deva Path Pein and Nagato.

"What!?" shouted the three with Nagato.

"These are just reanimated corpses. I'm the real one. I think Jiraiya wrote some odd code on a toad's back when he was fighting me. From the look on his face, it would seem he came to the conclusion that I was not amongst my Pein Rikudou," spoke Nagato, removing the henge changing his eyes, allowing his Rinnegan to show.

"Huh... that explains why you always seem to get close to Konan during parties, hm. I wanted to ask, but I was worried you would get mad and rip my arm off," replied Deidara.

"And I probably would have. This is one of my guarded secrets. I don't let just anyone know," spoke Nagato.

"Except me, which makes me wonder," spoke Ookami.

"You knew!?" shouted Sasori and Deidara.

"He told me a while ago. He asked me not to tell, so I didn't," replied Ookami.

"Anything else you know about anyone that we should know about?" asked Deidara.

"Hmm... no, I think that about does it for secrets I know about other Akatsuki members... yep... I think that about does it. I may have forgotten something, but if it was that important, I would have remembered, right?" asked Ookami.

"I guess," spoke Deidara.

"So, what does this have to do with your dream?" asked Kakashi.

"Right, well, I had this dream where I went and devastated Konoha in order to rope in Naruto," replied Nagato.

"You did?" asked Kakashi.

"Yeah, I think I killed you at some point, on top of that," spoke Nagato, "And I killed your girlfriend, Ookami."

"For real? What do you have against Hinata?" asked Ookami.

"Nothing, really, she attacked me, and I killed her," replied Nagato.

"Oh... well, it was only a dream, right?" asked Ookami.

"The strangest part is the ending. That brat actually convinced me to undo everything I did, and I ended up killing myself resurrecting everyone," replied Nagato.

"No kidding? That's some dream," spoke Kakashi.

"Yeah, felt pretty real, though," replied Nagato.

"I had one of those dreams before," replied Sasori.

"Really? You, Sasori no Danna?" asked Deidara.

"Yeah. In my dream, we didn't resurrect Gaara after we captured him. We were still partners. You took off after two Konoha-nin. I think you were one of them, Kakashi. And then my grandmother and the pink haired one over there fought me. I ended up dying by their hands at the end of the dream," explained Sasori.

"You die? I doubt that would happen. You plan on living forever with that body of yours, after all. I doubt some girl and old woman could beat you," spoke Deidara.

"I wouldn't doubt them, at least not my grandmother. She is rather skilled," replied Sasori.

"I suppose. I had a dream like that, too, now that I think about it, hm. I ended up fighting Itachi's brother. I was forced to use C0 in order to defeat him. I could have sworn I felt my body ripping apart when I woke up, hm. It was the strangest feeling," spoke Deidara.

"I didn't have a dream quite like those," spoke Kakashi, "For me, I remember seeing my father in the afterlife. We were sitting by a fire, and we talked about our lives up to that point in time. I decided to forgive my father for abandoning a mission for the sake of his comrades. It did feel quite real. I remember being a in a cold sweat after waking from the dream."

"Hmm... I had a dream like those, too. I didn't die like you three. For me, I was still working for Akatsuki. I was working with that blond brat, and Gaara. I think some other jinchuuriki were there, or at least the bijuu... I know that Kawazaki, the sanbi, was there," replied Ookami.

"What did you all do?" asked Nagato.

"Well, I remember getting orders from you to find the others. I woke up as we were setting out; Deidara here disturbed the bunshin I had guarding him by getting into a fight with Yugito," replied Deidara.

"Really, hm. Hey, you said you were with jinchuuriki. Was Yugito there?" asked Deidara.

"No, she wasn't in it, for some reason. It was right after the mission to capture the Sanbi, which might explain why he was there, though he had a much different personality," replied Ookami.

"Strange. Well, I guess we all know how things could have been in another life, right?" asked Nagato.

"Yeah. I'm glad those things didn't happen, hm. As much as I like the idea of becoming my art, I'd rather live for a little while longer," replied Deidara.

"Indeed. The idea of failing to get that brat is somewhat upsetting, since I could crush him between my fingers," spoke Nagato.

"I think we could all do that... except for Hidan, for some reason," replied Ookami.

"Yeah, you should have seen him. He impaled his head to shut out the brat. Couldn't concentrate enough to pull off his 'ritual.' I guess we know the one thing that can beat an immortal, hm?" asked Deidara.

"A blond with a big mouth?" asked Sasori, while looking at Deidara with somewhat of a grin.

"That'll do it... hey, wait, what's with that look, hm?" asked Deidara.

"Nothing," replied Sasori. The others in the group began to chuckle, Deidara joined in after a few seconds of awkward silence imposed on himself.

In Madara's old room, the founder of the Uchiha Clan was having unique problems of his own to deal with.

"Ow, why are you being so rough!?" shouted Madara.

"Look, you, I'm in heat. You know what that means, right?" asked the kyuubi.

"Oh... wait, what!?" shouted Madara. His response came in the form of his shirt being torn off of him, literally.

"Do I have to say it?" asked the kyuubi.

"Are you sure those drinks you had aren't doing the talking?" asked Madara.

"Baka! You've seen that Ookami fellow pack them away. Jinchuuriki, and by extension, bijuu, aren't affected by alcohol. I'm wondering if you are feeling it? I saw the look in your eyes before," replied the kyuubi.

"They why didn't you do anything then?" asked Madara.

"I didn't really love you enough. I thought you were another weakling. I was humoring you with our relationship at that point. But, now that I've seen that you do have some power, I've fallen for you," replied the kyuubi.

"You mean you like me because I can tame you with my Sharingan?" asked Madara.

"That's right. You seem to think it's a bad thing," replied the kyuubi, as she rubbed her hand up and down Madara's chest.

"Well, yes and no. I would rather you like me for my shining personality," replied Madara, in Tobi's voice.

"I do find it amusing, I suppose. Letting loose after many years of living isn't such a bad idea. A philosophy I might just have to adopt. I learned how to be a knucklehead from that blond brat. I won't overdo it, but, maybe, just maybe, I'll loosen up a little. Not that I won't crack your head open if you piss me off with your 'Tobi' act. Now then, little man, is there anything else you want to bother me about, or can we get this started. Your body seems to want me to get going," spoke the kyuubi, while pointing at the bulge in Madara's pants.

"Uh... some things are hard to hide..." muttered Madara.

"They are. Even the best shinobi have one good weakness, now then," spoke the kyuubi, as she ripped off her clothing and the rest of Madara's.

"You're going to be one whipped little puppy by the time I'm done with you," spoke the kyuubi, with an evil grin, as she began to ravish the eldest of the living Uchiha.

The typical party festivities took place. Kakashi, Nagato, Deidara, Ookami, Sasori, and Kakuzu decided to have a little drinking contest to see who could last the second longest. They figured it was pointless to try and outdo Ookami, who participated for the sheer amusement of it. After several bottles of hard liquor, Ookami was still going, while Kakuzu and Nagato were starting at each other, each with a full shot glass in hand. Kakashi, Deidara, and Sasori were already down for the count.

"This one's going to do it!" shouted Nagato.

"I can out drink a light weight like you," replied Kakuzu.

"Neither of you two are really light weights," spoke Ookami, as he downed the shot in his hand.

"Shut it, Ookami!" shouted Kakuzu.

"Down the hatch!" shouted Nagato.

Both Akatsuki members swallowed their shots in one quick burst. They both entered a staring contest for a couple of minutes.

"I win!" shouted both Nagato and Kakuzu, right before each hit the ground. Within seconds, the Pein Rikudou was down for the count, too.

"Huh... at the same time... that's interesting," spoke Ookami, "And right after we emptied the last bottle. What a shame."

"What a shame? I'm staying out of your body for the next week and a half!" shouted the rokubi.

"You know, Nana there chose a name. Why don't you?" asked Ookami.

"Why? She picked the same name as Kisame's girlfriend. That's rather confusing, don't you think?" asked the rokubi.

"It's not a problem as long as the two of them aren't in the same room," replied Ookami.

"I suppose... give me a moment to come up with something... I'm going to try to come up with something a little more distinct... hmm... I got it! Urufu Renko!" shouted the rokubi.

"Renko... I like that," replied Ookami.

"I thought you would approve, not that you really have a choice one way or the other, replied Renko.

"You think the kyuubi will do the same?" asked Ookami.

"I dunno... speaking of her, where did she go?" asked Renko.

"I dunno, I haven't seen her or Madara in a few hours. Hey, Konan, have you seen Madara and the kyuubi?" asked Ookami.

"Hmm? Madara and the kyuubi... no, I haven't seen them for a while. I've been busy tending to a drunken Mikoto.

"My boy's are nothing but man whores!!" shouted Mikoto.

"Oh... have fun with that..." muttered Ookami, as he backed away.

"Hey, uh... Sakura and Ino, right?" asked Renko.

"Yeah, what do you want?" asked Ino.

"Have you seen Madara and the kyuubi?" asked Renko.

"Hmm... uh... I don't think I've seen them in a while. Have you, Ino?" asked Sakura.

"No, I haven't seen them, sorry," replied Ino.

"Darn. Hey, we haven't asked Zetsu yet. He might know," spoke Ookami.

"Yeah, he might. Hey, Zetsu!" shouted Renko.

"Hmm?" replied Zetsu's white side.

"Whitey's intoxicated. What do you need?" asked Zetsu's black side.

"I don't want to know how that works... have you seen Madara and the kyuubi?" asked Ookami.

"Madara? Tobi! Tobi's a good boy. I miss him!" shouted Zetsu's white side.

"Uh... last time I saw them, they were heading towards Madara's old room," replied Zetsu's black side.

"Oh, arigatou, Zetsu-san," spoke Renko.

"I wonder what those two are doing?" asked Ookami.

The pair walked towards the bedrooms, and knocked on the door. They didn't hear anything.

"Sound barrier?" asked Ookami and Renko of each other.

The pair walked away, not wanting to think any harder on what was going on. As they were about to go grab a couple of sandwiches, Madara came bursting out of the room.

"Worn out... need help... can't keep going..." muttered a naked and fatigued looking Madara, as he fell to the floor, and started crawling towards Ookami and Renko.

"Get back here!! I'm not done with you yet!!" shouted the kyuubi. A bright red tail flew out of the room, and wrapped Madara up, snapping him back into the room, and slamming the door.

"No words can accurately describe how I feel about this," spoke Renko.

"I'm going to go find Hinata. Ja ne!" shouted Ookami, as shunshined _(body flickered)_ away from Madara's room.

"It's not like she wants you..." muttered Renko.

"Hey Hinata!" shouted Ookami. The young Hyuga grabbed onto Ookami, clearly intoxicated.

"Oh my..." muttered Ookami.

"Ookami-k-kun, let's go to your r-room, _hic_," spoke Hinata.

"Not again..." muttered Ookami.

"She's your problem, I have my own to deal with," spoke Konan, as she kept trying to calm down Mikoto, who broke into a sobbing fit, shouting random things.

"My eldest son killed my husband. I hate him, but I still miss him!!" shouted Mikoto.

"Fair enough, but don't forget to pick up your husband when your done," replied Ookami, as he walked off to his room.

"Pick up my husband?" spoke Konan, as she walked to get more tissues for Mikoto. She ended up tripping over something.

"What was that!? Nagato!?" shouted Konan.

Nagato was snoring. Konan could smell the alcohol coming off of him. She saw Sasori, Kakashi, and Deidara lying next to him.

"Not again..." muttered Konan.

The next morning, it was noon before anyone got out of bed. Half of the members, and _half of_ _one_ of the members were hungover badly.

"Remind me not to enter a drinking contest with Kakuzu again..." muttered Nagato.

"Likewise..." muttered Kakuzu.

"I wonder who won..." muttered Sasori.

"Those two passed out at the same time, so no one wins," replied Ookami.

"Damn you and your bijuu..." muttered Deidara, noting the more than perky Ookami.

"Want some sober juice?" asked Ookami.

"Gah... whatever, it works... hm..." muttered Deidara.

"Remind me again, what's in it?" asked Nagato.

"Hell's hot sauce, wasabi, and I've added barbecue sauce to season it up a bit, along with black coffee, of course," replied Ookami.

"Whatever... bottoms up, boys!" shouted Nagato.

The hungover members of Akatsuki downed the sober juice... and ran to the bathroom several seconds later.

"You're evil," spoke Renko.

"At least I flavored it a little better," replied Ookami.

"It still smells like shit," spoke Renko, while smelling what was in the coffee pot.

"Does it?" asked the kyuubi, as she promptly sniffed it. She gagged and coughed at the scent.

"What the Hell!?" shouted the kyuubi.

"It's hard to get used to. I'm the creator, so I suppose it doesn't bother me as much. Renko neither, since she was in my body at the time," replied Ookami.

"Renko?" asked the kyuubi.

"The name I've chosen for myself," replied Renko.

"Oh, I see. I'll have to do that, too. I'll think of one later," spoke the kyuubi.

"Fair enough. So what happened last night? You were a little... wild..." muttered Renko.

"Oh, it was awesome! You know, I never thought losing my virginity would be that much fun! I thought it was going to be really uncomfortable, kind of like how it is for some human women, but I lucked out, I guess," replied the kyuubi, with a huge grin.

"You were a virgin for thousands of years!?" shouted Ookami.

"Never found the right man," replied the kyuubi.

"I'm a virgin, you know, as is the nanabi. I'm pretty sure the nibi is, too. I can't speak for the others, though," spoke Renko.

"Huh... I never bothered to ask you, since I do kind of look at you as a mother figure. It would be kind of strange to ask," spoke Ookami.

"I figured as much. I wasn't bursting to tell you, really, since you decided to hold better morals than most of the men your age," replied Renko.

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment," spoke Ookami.

At the point, Madara entered the room. He seem rather pleased with himself, considering his state the night before.

"You look happy," spoke Ookami.

"I'm not hungover. I'm tired as Hell, and raw as hamburger, but at least I'm not hugging a crapper," replied Madara.

"Heard the rush after the downing of the sober juice?" asked Ookami.

"Music to my ears," replied Madara.

"You're evil," spoke the kyuubi.

"You wouldn't love me otherwise," replied Madara.

"You two are freaks!!" shouted Ookami and Renko in unison.

"Really, hand boy?" asked Madara.

"Not that kind of freak!!" shouted Ookami.

After everyone recovered from the antics of the night, the party guests departed Amegakure, under escort of the member who invited them. Deidara and Ookami decided they would drop off everyone from Konoha before returning Kirabi to Kumo.

"That was rather fun. I would have rather not passed out, but sharing your Icha Icha collection made it worth it," spoke Kakashi.

"Hey, no problem. I'm surprised you were missing a couple; you seem to be quite the fan," spoke Ookami.

"Well, I heard those weren't the best of the group. I was surprised, though. Those were better than I was expecting. Not the best, but still worth it," replied Kakashi.

"Don't forget to buy them, Kakashi-san. Ja ne," spoke Ookami.

"Ja ne," replied Kakashi.

"Tell Itachi I'll be back within a few months. I plan to challenge him to a rematch," spoke Sasuke.

"Will do," spoke Ookami. The Akatsuki group departed, leaving the Konoha group with one thought on their minds.

"_Did we forget something?"_

A loud sneeze erupted from Hidan's ritual chamber.

"Hey, when is the party going to start? I've been here for hours!!" shouted Naruto.

"Shut up brat!!" shouted Hidan.

"So, is it party time?" asked Naruto.

Hidan stared at Naruto, bearing eyes full of hatred upon the young blond. He didn't seem to be bothered at all by the Jashinist.

Hidan grabbed Naruto by the collar of his jumpsuit, took him to the nearest window, and kicked as hard as he could.

"And don't ever come back, motherfucker!!" shouted Hidan.

Over the next couple of days, the rest of the Akatsuki returned. Hinata decided she was going to stay with Ookami for a while, much to Ookami's delight.

"Hey, maybe now you'll get some, hm," spoke Deidara.

Ookami and Hinata blushed, while Yugito knocked the terrorist on the head.

"Well, now that the fun and games are over, here's what we're going to do now," spoke Nagato, no longer hiding behind Pein.

Nagato laid out a series of patrols that each team would conduct throughout the various countries. Nagato instructed the members to break up any potential sources of conflict, using whatever means necessary, short of doing anything to start a war on their own. Since Tobi was no longer with the group, Nagato paired Sasori with Zetsu to join him in his spying duties. Each patrol was set to last a week at a time. Zetsu and Sasori would find hot spots to send the various members to. For the next four years, this is how the Akatsuki conducted themselves.

Ookami and Deidara were out on one of their patrols through Hi no Kuni. They were sent back and forth to Hi no Kuni, Iwa no Kuni, and Kaminari no Kuni, since between the two of them, they had ties to the shinobi villages of those countries. Mizu no Kuni was left to Madara. The members would often complain when they were sent into Hi no Kuni, as the shinobi in the nation rarely started a fight.

"It's so boring... I hate taking patrols in Hi no Kuni, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Not since that village took arms against us a year ago did we really get to do something worthwhile here," replied Ookami.

"And even then, Konoha helped us out, so we couldn't do it the way we wanted to, hm."

"Well, at least we were able to level part of the village before they arrived. That felt _so_ good. This 'peace' that Nagato-sama wanted is boring as Hell."

"Want to find another place to make a good crater?"

"Yeah, I'm up for that... wait... you see that up ahead?"

"Hmm... let me take a look," spoke Deidara, while focusing his scope on the area Ookami pointed out. Ookami activated his Sogekigan, and did the same.

"Just some bandits harassing a group of travelers, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Seems like overkill for us to jump them, but beggars can't be choosers. Maybe one of them will know some ninjutsu. Shall we?" asked Ookami.

"I suppose," replied Deidara, as the pair took off towards the conflict.

"You ladies are going to make me so happy later!" shouted one of the bandits, as he was raiding a woman of all her belongings.

"No... please..." muttered the woman. She looked scared at first. Her face suddenly turned to one of pure terror, but not because of the bandit.

"What? What are you looking at over there... shit!!" shouted the bandit.

"It's Akatsuki!!" shouted another one of the bandits.

"Ah, the sounds of fear. I really enjoy that," spoke Ookami.

"Grr! You guys think your so tough! Just because you can level a tower or two doesn't mean I'll back down. Katon: Hakushuka no Jutsu! _(Fire Release: White Ember Technique)_" shouted the bandit.

A flash appeared from beneath Deidara and Ookami. Within seconds, flaming debris was thrown up at the pair, lighting them on fire as the debris made contact. The two appeared to fall to the ground after fighting with the flames.

"Ha! You all think you're so tough! Take that!!" shouted the bandit.

"Those flames were pretty. Care to see what I can do, hm,?" asked Deidara, from behind the bandit that attacked him.

"What!?" shouted the bandit.

Two explosions were heard, as Ookami detonated bombs on the heads of the other bandits.

"I hit you head on!!" shouted the bandit.

"Oh, come now. As slow as you were with that jutsu? You really think we didn't have more than enough time to escape, hm," replied Deidara.

The flames no the two forms died down to reveal two logs.

"Too bad, if you had some speed, this might have been more entertaining... katsu!" shouted Deidara.

The small insect placed on the back of the bandit exploded. Separating the man into two halves. It appeared as though the bandit remained alive long enough to experience the feeling of being blown apart.

"Take it all! I don't want to die!!" shouted the woman.

"It's all yours! Just don't hurt my family!" shouted a man.

"Uh... they always think we want money, or something," spoke Ookami.

"It's a good thing we're not with Kakuzu. He would take them up on their offer, hm," replied Deidara.

"Look, we just took care of the bandits because we were bored," spoke Ookami.

"Don't get the wrong impression; we're not the hero types, hm. We just needed something to do. Ja ne," spoke Deidara.

Deidara and Ookami walked off, leaving the stunned family to ponder what it was that just took place.

"That was almost a thrill," spoke Ookami.

"Yeah, right, hm. I would have had more fun taking out a field of training dummies. At least I can rig them to burst into flames in an artistic manner," replied Deidara.

"I tried."

"I was about to ask you something, before we saw those bandits, hm."

"Oh?"

"It's about Hinata."

"Yeah, what about her?"

"It's been almost five years now. Aren't you going to ask her?"

"Well, I've been thinking about it. I was going to ask her after this patrol. I was originally going to invite her to come with us, but then she would be with me at our next destination."

"Our next destination?"

"There's a village up ahead that's known for fine jewelry. I was going to buy the ring there."

"No way! And we let those people keep their money, hm!?"

"Hey, I went through a lot of trouble to earn the money I'm using to buy it. It wouldn't have the same meaning if I stole it, or stole the money to pay for it."

"I guess... you seem to know a lot more about romance then me, hm."

"That's why my girlfriend doesn't keep leaving me. Seriously, you need to be a little less of a wild child."

"It's not just me, hm. It's her, too. At least we patched things up for the moment."

"You should take her out to a descent restaurant... without blowing up half of it..."

"Hey, they were ripping us off! Not to mention they made my food extra spicy, even though I asked for regular seasonings. That place pissed me off so much, hm."

"I remember, I remember... the chewing out _we_ got from Nagato, and I didn't even do anything."

"You just had to bring _that part_ up again, didn't you, hm?"

"Yeah, yeah, but that's not the point. The point is you need to be able to take her somewhere nice, and make it a nice night. Maybe you should take her out the night I take Hinata out to propose."

"How about..."

"Not the same place I'm going to. It's going to be a night for her to remember, and by that, I mean in a way that doesn't involve explosions."

"How about explosions of passion?"

"That's going to be our wedding night."

"I still can't believe you two are still virgins, hm. I would have had her the first night she shared her bed with me."

"You have your way, I have mine. There are some things that are meant to last. Not everything needs to be a fleeting moment. You'll never build a relationship that last if you don't learn to appreciate things with everlasting beauty."

"Now you sound like Sasori no Danna, hm."

"That wasn't intended. Art is best as a memorable instant, but love is meant to last forever."

"Alright, I'll _try_ to keep that in mind."

"Hey, it won't bother me one way or the other, really. It's your relationship, not mine. You can take my advice or leave it, that's up to you."

"I don't know, you're advice does seem to work, hm. Every time I follow it, I end up having a night to remember."

"Then listen to me on this one... hm?"

"Nagato-sama, hm?"

I guess our patrol is being called off. Fine by me."

"Likewise. Let's go," spoke Deidara, as he made a bird to fly on, while Ookami made a dragon. The pair headed off for Amegakure at their best speed.

In Amegakure, Deidara and Ookami found everyone else was there already.

"What the fuck? I was killing some heathens, you know? I finally find some shit heads to sacrifice, and you cut me off! What gives!?" shouted Hidan.

"One of those 'heathens' was a bounty for me," spoke Kakuzu.

"We were bored, actually," spoke Kisame.

"I wanted to return here," spoke Itachi.

"Yeah, this was such a lame trip. Not too much happens in Kaminari no Kuni," spoke Kiyomi.

"Madara informed me he had a new mission for us. He wouldn't elaborate, he simply told me it would require everyone," spoke Nagato.

"Oh joy, another mission from 'good boy.' What do have to gather this time? Fucking flowers, or something? And maybe he'll make us shove it up that statue's ass, too!!" shouted Hidan.

"Oh, please, that's your next mission. This one is a little more important. Kunori _(the kyuubi's chosen name)_, tell them what their mission is," spoke Madara, from right behind Hidan. The Jashinist only grunted in response.

"Fucking pansy..." muttered Hidan.

"I heard that. He is, but that's not the point," spoke Kunori, "Come here, Kamatarou, Safaia."

Out from behind Kunori came two small children, Kamatarou, a boy with red hair, tanned skin, and black eyes, and Safaia, a girl with black hair and eyes and pale skin. Their most standout features were the whisker marks on their cheeks, fox ears, and fox tails with fur matching their hair. Each child had one tail.

"Oh, aren't they cute... wait..." muttered Konan.

"You can't be serious..." muttered Deidara.

"Oh boy..." muttered Ookami.

"If they say 'good boy' or 'good girl,' I'm ramming a pike through my skull..." muttered Hidan.

"Okay, so you can have children... huh..." muttered Nagato.

"And now, your mission is to protect these two and train them," spoke Kiyomi.

"What the fuck!!" shouted Hidan.

"Madara-sama! We are not your personal babysitting service. I know you have a lot to worry about as Mizukage, but we can't look after your children like this. We have our own tasks to worry about!!" shouted Nagato.

"Hey, hey, you will do as I tell you. These aren't your ordinary children. They have greater strength than most chunin, just at the age of three. You _will_ train them," spoke Madara.

"I refuse!!" shouted Nagato.

"I'm with him, this is fucking ridiculous!" shouted Hidan.

"Yeah, for real!" shouted Ookami.

"Fuck this, I got places to level with my artful beauty, hm," spoke Deidara.

"That... didn't.. come out right..." muttered Ookami.

"You know what I meant, hm..." muttered Deidara.

"We have to keep up our spy network," spoke Zetsu's black side.

"But they're so cute," spoke Zetsu's white side.

"There's no money in this," spoke Kakuzu.

"I'm not really up for taking care children," spoke Konan.

"We have our own to look after," spoke Kiyomi and Itachi.

"We're not the parental type," spoke Kisame and Nana.

"I dunno, this would make for good practice, Sasori-kun," spoke bijuu Nana.

"Look, there are all kinds of assassins trying to get to me through them. This is the best place to hide them while I deal with this little problem of mine," spoke Madara.

"Why don't you just ask us to take care of the assassins?" asked Hidan.

"Oh wow, just have you guys kill them? Why didn't I think of that... if it was that easy, I'd have done it myself, shit for brains!!" shouted Madara, "These guys are working from the inside. I don't know who they are. I can't trust anyone at the moment. Just look after them. It shouldn't take the two of us too long to take care of the problem. It'll be easier on us if we don't have to worry about our children being caught up in anything, okay."

"Come on, it'll give you guys something to do. It's not like those patrols of yours are really all that entertaining, right?" asked Kunori.

"Gah, fine. I can't deny a request like this under these circumstances. Just take care of your troubles as soon as you can," spoke Nagato.

"Arigatou. Now then, good luck, oh... and watch out, they're quite the handful," spoke Madara, in Tobi's voice.

"You can't be serious..." spoke Hidan.

"Shut it. Just look at it as a chance to tell youth about Jashin," replied Nagato.

Hidan went silent.

Madara and Kunori smiled as they left Amegakure, knowing the Akatsuki were going to have a good time with their new mission.

"Well... what should we do first?" asked Ookami.

"Hell if I know, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Ease up on the language, they are children," spoke Konan.

"Okay, okay, mom," spoke Ookami.

Ookami found himself with a kami yari _(paper spear)_ stuck in his shoulder. Ookami looked over to Nagato, who silently nodded.

"_That time of the month? He could have warned us,"_ thought Ookami.

Deidara shivered upon getting the message. Nagato shivered as Konan looked back in his direction.

"Uh... Konan-chan?" asked Nagato.

Nagato was kicked out of the tower five seconds later. Everyone else in the group could only stare in awe. Konan can be frightening when she wants to be, as everyone knew quite well at the moment.

"Now then, where should we begin?" spoke Konan in a sweet tone, while looking at the children, who seemed to find what Konan did to Nagato amusing. It would seem the children of Madara have a mischievous streak, just like their father.

"_And so it begins..."_ thought the other Akatsuki members.

_A/N: And there you have it, the first chapter of Akatsuki's New Mission. I am curious as to what everyone thinks of the lemon, and if they are wanted at all. As always, I'll explain the new names. All the bijuu are named for their animal and tail number; __鷹 七__, Takasaki Nana, or Hawk Seven; __狼 六__, Urufu Renko, or Wolf Six, and __狐 九__, Kitsunezaki Kunori, or Fox Nine. Madara's children are named after his weapon during the founding of the Konoha _(the kusarigama, 鎖鎌, with the Uchiha emblem). _Safaia can be spelled as __鎖炎__, where __鎖 __means chain and __炎 __means flame. Kamatarou can be spelled as __鎌太郎__, where __鎌 __means sickle, __太 __means thick, and __郎 __means son. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!_


	2. Little Demons

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; if I did, Danzo would be a filler character_

**Chapter 2 – Little Demons**

"That was awesome!!" shouted Kamataro, in response to Konan knocking Nagato out of the building.

"You're the best of the group! The rest of these guys are weird," spoke Safaia.

Konan smiled in response. The Pein Rikudou could only frown. The Asura Path was sent to retrieve Nagato, while the other five made sure to keep their distance from the quick to anger kunoichi.

"Is that so? They are a little odd, aren't they?" asked Konan.

"_We're not as odd as others,"_ thought Ookami.

"_I suppose Zetsu, Kisame, and Kakuzu are,"_ thought Deidara.

"_Think they're talking about us?"_ thought white Zetsu.

"_No, they're talking about fish boy and rag doll... of course they mean us, you idiot!"_ replied black Zetsu.

"_I hate brats,"_ thought Kakuzu.

"_I should teach them about Jashin-sama,"_ thought Hidan.

"_More little Uchiha running around..." _thought Itachi.

"_Hmm... I got nothing,"_ thought Kisame.

"Well, looks like you got this at hand," spoke Nagato, as he was being carried back into the room by Asura Path Pein.

"You're helping," spoke Konan.

"Yes, ma'am!" shouted Nagato.

"Whipped," spoke Ookami.

He received a kami yari _(paper spear)_ for his other arm.

"Well, that could have gone worse," spoke Ookami. Deidara was pointing behind Ookami with a look of fear on his face.

"What?" asked Ookami.

Asura Path Pein proceeded to rip out both of Ookami's arms.

"Ow..." muttered Ookami.

"What, no screaming, or anything?" asked Asura Path Pein.

"What, you know it hurts like hell!!" shouted Ookami.

Ookami received a kami yari for each of his legs.

"I said watch your mouth!!" shouted Konan.

"Deidara... help..." muttered Ookami.

"Leave me out of this, hm! You dug your own grave!" shouted Deidara.

"I want to tear something off of him!" shouted Kamataro.

"Me, too!" shouted Safaia.

"Eh?" asked Ookami.

The two little demons jumped on top of Ookami, and began pulling at different parts of his body. Ookami could only frown, until he felt his hair being ripped out by Safaia. Kamataro went for his head.

"Hey, don't kill me! Rip his head off! It won't kill him!!" shouted Ookami, while pointing at Hidan.

"Really?" asked Kamataro.

"His head will talk to you, and everything," spoke Ookami.

"Shut your fucking hole, Ookami!!" shouted Hidan, while preparing to remove Ookami's head. Hidan was pinned down by a string of kami yari.

"Language," spoke Konan.

"Let's play with him!" shouted Safaia, as she and her brother jumped off of Ookami, and headed straight for Hidan. The two proceeded to pull at his head until it finally came off.

"Oww!! Fucking brats! You have any idea how much this fucking hurts!!" shouted Hidan.

"Hey, that guy was right, it does talk!!" shouted Kamataro.

"Okay... they're distracted. Kakuzu, can I borrow you for a moment?" asked Ookami.

"Pay me first," spoke Kakuzu.

"Great idea... how the Hell am I supposed to give you money without any damned arms!!" shouted Ookami, who received a kami yari in his backside.

"I'll just take this, then," spoke Kakuzu, as he took Ookami's wallet out of his pocket. He was frustrated to see a seal on it.

"It's a blood seal. There's nothing you can do to open it," spoke Ookami, forgetting there was an abundance of his blood pouring out of his empty arm sockets.

"Oh? Arigatou," spoke Kakuzu, as he stuck Ookami's wallet in one of his arm holes in order to get blood to break the seal.

"Ow..." muttered Ookami.

"How are you not screaming out in pain right now, hm?" asked Deidara.

"This isn't anything new, really. I had a really bad childhood... but, since I'm a jinchuuriki, this is nothing more than a flesh wound. I'm almost as bad as Hidan with the ability to not die from things like this," explained Ookami.

"Oh," replied Deidara.

"Convenient, I'll keep that in mind," spoke Nagato.

"You didn't have to rip both of them out, did you?" asked Ookami.

"Your big mouth, your problem," replied Nagato.

"Indeed... hey, Kakuzu, you took my money, you wanna put my arms back on?" asked Ookami.

"Hmm? Oh, right," spoke Kakuzu, as he counted money with one hand, and shot out tentacles with the other. The children stopped pulling Hidan apart for a moment to watch.

"Cool!" shouted Kamataro.

"Eww..." muttered Safaia.

"That feels really odd..." muttered Ookami, as his arms were stitched back on.

"There, now then, I'm off to the bank," spoke Kakuzu.

"You're really going to let him take all your money like that?" asked Nagato.

"Of course not. That was a fake wallet with fake money. Quite realistic, until I do this," spoke Ookami.

"Do what?" asked Deidara.

"Wait for it..." spoke Ookami.

"What the Hell!! This is just clay dressed up to look like money!! I'm going to rip your fucking arms out, and I won't sew them back on this time, bastard!!" shouted Kakuzu.

"Duck!!" shouted Nagato, as he pulled down both Deidara and Ookami. Enough kami yari to make Kakuzu look like a porcupine were hurled at the former Taki-nin.

"Arigatou, Konan-san," spoke Ookami.

Konan didn't say anything as she continued to watch the kids tear and tear at Hidan.

"Should we help him out, or something?" asked Kisame of Itachi.

"No, he's on his own," spoke Itachi.

"Hey, Itachi, what's with the noise... oh... where did those kids come from?" asked Kiyomi.

"Madara and the kyuubi," replied Itachi.

"That explains the fox tails... huh..." spoke Kiyomi, "Why are they doing that to Hidan?"

"They find amusement in it," replied Itachi.

"Of course they would, considering their parents. Aren't you glad our daughters aren't like that?" asked Kiyomi.

"Hai," replied Itachi.

"Kami-sama knows what they would do to me," spoke Kisame.

"Who says you're safe. They're bound to get bored with Hidan eventually," replied Itachi.

"Yeah, too bad for you. Out of everyone here, Itachi is by far the most normal," spoke Kiyomi.

"Oh joy..." muttered Kisame.

"Well, look on the bright side, you won't get bored. So, how long are we stuck with these kids?" asked Kiyomi.

"We don't know. It depends on how long it takes for Madara and the kyuubi to sort out the political problems of their village," replied Itachi.

"That could take a while, from what Nana has told me," spoke Kisame.

"She would be privy to such knowledge," spoke Itachi.

"You know something, I think I could use an ice cold one," spoke Kisame.

"This does seem to be an appropriate time," replied Itachi, as he pulled out a scroll. It was pinned into the wall by a kami yari.

"Again with the kami yari?" asked Kisame.

"Not in front of the kids. If you must, take it elsewhere," spoke Konan.

"What's with her?" asked Kiyomi.

"She's having a 'moment,'" replied Kisame.

"What kind of moment?" asked Kiyomi.

"The 'throwing leader-sama out the window' kind,' replied Kisame.

"Oh... oh..." spoke Kiyomi.

"Well, at least Akemi and Kuromi will have someone to keep them company," spoke Itachi.

"After they're training, which, by the way, started ten minutes ago," replied Kiyomi.

"Oh? I can't leave meetings early. Come, Kisame, there is a village full of bandits in Tsuchi no Kuni that needs cleaning up. We're letting the kids help us," spoke Itachi.

"Family killing spree? Alright, I'm in!" shouted Kisame.

"I thought you would, let's go," spoke Itachi. Kisame took the scroll holding their beer off the wall where Konan had pinned it, as he, Itachi, and Kiyomi left.

Kamataro and Safaia were still pulling apart Hidan. They were getting covered in blood, but didn't seem to mind or show any form of fear from it. Konan continued to watch, looking to make sure the Jashinist didn't do anything to the children.

"Hey, Hidan-oji, how come you don't die when we pull your head off?" asked Kamataro.

"Yeah, it's so cool that it doesn't hurt you!" shouted Safaia.

"Hey, it still hurts, I'm just used to it, you fu... brats," spoke Hidan, worried about the glare he was getting from Konan.

"Okay, but why don't you die?" asked Kamataro.

"It's because of the mighty Jashin-sama. If you serve him right, he'll give you the gift of immortality, in exchange for sacrificing heathens," spoke Hidan.

"Oh? Immortal? We don't have to worry about that," spoke Kamataro.

"Eh? Why not?" asked Hidan.

"We're demons, we'll live for a long, long time," spoke Safaia.

"But you can still be killed. For me, nothing could ever hurt me," spoke Hidan.

"Hmm... okaa-san told us we shouldn't follow the religious beliefs of crazy, silver-haired priests with pink eyes, though," spoke Safaia.

"Yeah, otou-san said something like that, too," replied Kamataro.

"What!?" shouted Hidan.

Konan started laughing.

"It would seem their parents were wise to teach them about odd religions," spoke Konan.

"Shut up, bitch!!" shouted Hidan.

The Jashinist ended up with a kami yari going through his eye.

"I think we've had enough fun playing with Hidan-oji. Let's find something else to do," spoke Konan.

"Okay," spoke the children in unison.

Hidan was glad to see them leave him be. His relief disappeared when he remembered that he was dismembered.

"Hey, Kakuzu! Put me back together!" shouted Hidan.

"Hm?" asked Kakuzu, who was busy reading a book. Ookami and Kakashi had managed to get the old man hooked on Icha Icha.

"Damn it, put that heathen book down long enough to put me back together!!" shouted Hidan.

"If you're going to be that way about it, I'll leave you like that for a little while," replied Kakuzu.

"Hey, Kakuzu-chan, don't be that way," spoke Hidan.

"Don't 'Kakuzu-chan' me, I'm going to leave you like that for a few hours, because I find it amusing you allowed yourself to be torn apart by a pair of three year old children," replied Kakuzu.

"What!? They're part demon, that makes a difference! You think normal children would have been able to do this! Not to mention what Konan would have done to me if I tried to fight them back, you dumb fuck!!" shouted Hidan.

"That doesn't make me want to put you back together any faster," replied Kakuzu.

"Fuck you!!" shouted Hidan.

"I'm reading in another room," replied Kakuzu.

"Wha... wait!!" shouted Hidan.

Kakuzu didn't say another word as he went back to his reading, and left the room.

Ookami was checking to make sure his arms were working properly out in the base training grounds. He was making a series of clay wolves, and deployed them throughout the training field. He had his Sogekigan _(sniping eye)_ active, as he looked over each of the targets he maid. He made it so his creations crawled into the middle of the faces of the training dummies he set up. As soon as he saw that they were all in position, he detonated them. As the smoke cleared, he looked around to make sure that all of his bombs hit their mark.

"Well, how did I do?" asked Ookami.

"They all hit their mark. Looks like you're fine, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Ah, good to know. Let's see if my jutsu still work right. Might want to get out of the way for this one," spoke Ookami.

Deidara nodded, and got out of the way. Ookami began performing a long string of hand seals.

"Setton: Fubuki Bakuha no Jutsu! _(Snow Release: Blizzard Blast Technique)_" shouted Ookami.

A frigid wind full of ice erupted from in front of Ookami. The wind driven ice blew across the training field, and through the field of headless training dummies. When the jutsu was over, most of the targets in the front were ripped from their bases, while the targets in the back were iced over.

"Looks like everything works," spoke Ookami.

"Well, there is one more thing to test out, hm," spoke Deidara.

"And that would be?" asked Ookami.

"Taking on both of us at once," spoke Hinata, as she walked onto the training field.

"Kenjutsu and taijutsu at the same time? Easier done like this... nendo bushin, _(clay clone)_" spoke Ookami. Ookami formed his clay into his likeness and threw it on the ground. A clone of himself appeared.

"You take Deidara, I want to have fun with Hinata-chan," spoke Ookami.

"I figured you would do that, hm," spoke Deidara, as he pulled out the katana Ookami gave to him when he first arrived.

"Oh, they're fighting. We should join them!" shouted Kamataro.

"That sounds like a good idea, we should do what they're doing," spoke Safaia.

"How?" asked Kamataro.

"With our eyes, of course," replied Safaia.

"Oh yeah," replied Kamataro.

The pair walked up the group of three, grabbing their attention.

"Eh? What are you two doing here?" asked Hinata.

"Konan-san said we should go out and play. We saw the cool thing Ookami-oji did, so we came out here," spoke Kamataro.

"Oh, well, we're busy training. We don't really have time to play," spoke Ookami.

"We can train, too. Otou-san and Okaa-san trained us well," replied Safaia.

"Oh, what can you two do, hm," asked Deidara.

"Well, we have this," spoke Kamataro. Both of the children surprised the three adults before them by activating the Sharingan. Each of their Sharingan were complete.

"You can't be serious!!" shouted Deidara.

"The great kekkei genkai of the Uchiha has been reduced to a child's playing!?" shouted Ookami.

"How did you two do that!?" shouted Hinata.

"Well, otou-san and okaa-san threw us in the woods when we finally learned how to talk. They told us to survive on our own for a couple of months, and that if we couldn't do it, they would disown us," explained Kamataro.

"We were close to death a lot of times, so I guess that's how it happened," replied Safaia.

"You can't be serious. What kinds of parents would do that to their own children?" asked Hinata.

"I don't know, Hinata-chan, those two are extreme individuals. They would do something like that," spoke Ookami.

"They had to have done something, hm. I'm pretty sure Uchiha aren't born being able to do that," spoke Deidara.

"So, can we watch you guys fight?" asked Kamataro.

"And could you do that cool move again?" asked Safaia.

"What, you want to copy it?" asked Ookami.

"Hai!!" shouted Kamataro and Safaia.

"Won't work; it's a kekkei genkai jutsu. Only those of the Ookami Ichizoku can perform that jutsu," replied Ookami.

"Aww..." replied Kamataro and Safaia.

"You guys want to watch, you're free to do so. Maybe you'll learn something, hm," spoke Deidara.

"That's true. Now, where were we?" asked Ookami, as he and his bunshin prepared for a fight.

Deidara made a bird, challenging Ookami to chase him down and fight in the sky. Hinata took her juuken _(gentle fist) _stance, while Ookami took his kaken _(fire fist)_ stance. The two children looked on at the group, taking in all they were doing.

"We can't copy any of the things they are doing," spoke Kamataro.

"Maybe that's why they don't seem to care. The people at home would always get mad at us for stealing their jutsu," spoke Safaia.

In the sky, Ookami's bunshin had made it's own bird, and had finally caught up to Deidara. Deidara jumped off of his bird, and swung his katana down at Ookami's bunshin. The bunshin blocked the blow with his katana, and prepared a swing for Deidara's midsection. The flaming blade missed Deidara by a couple of millimeters, darkening the red cloud on his cloak. Deidara smirked as he brought his weapon back to bear on Ookami. Over the four years since Akatsuki had succeeded in its original plan, Ookami had spent a lot of time training Deidara in kenjutsu, making him just as deadly in close range combat as he is in long range combat. Deidara found the ability of his blade to manipulate fire made it both fleeting and artistic, enough to fit in with his long range fighting style. Deidara lit up his katana, and swung a wave of fire in the direction of Ookami's bunshin. The bunshin responded by doing the same. Both fire attacks canceled each other out. Ookami's bunshin was behind the wave, hoping to use it to surprise Deidara. The former Iwa-nin was prepared for his tactic, and swung his blade in the direction of the bunshin. The bunshin was caught off guard, and received a solid hit to its midsection. The bunshin looked down at the mark made by Deidara. Bits of clay had been thrown off of the bunshin. Since Ookami put a good share of his chakra in it, it didn't collapse after taking a solid hit. It did appear to get annoyed from being hit. Deidara smiled at what he was able to do, and continued, throwing wave after wave of fire at Ookami's bunshin. The bunshin was able to block all of the fire waves and jumped up into the sky. The bunshin had a pair of wings made of clay, allowing it to take flight.

"Oh, taking pages from Konan's book, are you, hm?" asked Deidara.

"Thought I'd try it," replied Ookami's bunshin.

Deidara smiled as he jumped into the air, taking a couple of swings at Ookami. Deidara was able to remove one of the wings, causing the bunshin to fall from the sky. The bunshin summoned his bird to catch him. Deidara kept his stance on the bird as it intercepted its master. Deidara took a swing at Ookami's bunshin as it landed. The bunshin smiled for a moment, until it realized there was a big gash on its back.

"Looks like I win, hm," spoke Deidara.

"That's what I get for trying to use a jutsu I pirated from someone," spoke Ookami's bunshin, as it turned into clay. The bird it was controlling became a stiff sculpture, prompting it to fall towards the ground. Deidara jumped onto his bird, and watched as what was left of Ookami's bunshin crashed into the ground below.

"It was fun, but not quite as artistic as I would have wanted, hm," Deidara muttered to himself.

"Let's have some fun, Hinata-chan," spoke Ookami.

"Alright, I'll be serious, Ookami-kun," replied Hinata.

The two stared into each other's eyes. Both had their doujutsu active. They were waiting for the right chance to start. A clash could be heard from the battle taking place in the sky, and the two charged at one another. A splash of chakra could be seen as Ookami's fire chakra and Hinata's juuken chakra collided. The pair engaged each other with a series of palm strikes. As the palms of the two taijutsu artists met, their chakra splashed again.

"Beautiful..." muttered Safaia.

"If you say so. I'm going to watch the two up there," replied Kamataro, while looking up to the sky.

A big splash of chakra could be seen as both Hinata and Ookami thought they had an opening, only to be countered at the last moment. Ookami dodged a strike from Hinata's right palm, while trying to deliver a strike to her midsection with his left. Hinata rolled out of the way, allowing enough room between herself and Ookami's hand to avoid taking injury. Hinata attempted to land a strike on Ookami's back, only to have him duck past it. Ookami quickly turned around to send his right palm into Hinata's, causing another splash of chakra to erupt. The pair smiled as they continued. Their faces mixed in smiles with determination, showing that while they were serious about the match, they were also having a good time. Ookami attempted another strike at Hinata's midsection with his left palm. Hinata dodged to the left of Ookami's strike, and landed a solid hit on Ookami's left shoulder. Ookami backed up, giving Hinata an opening. Ookami was able to block Hinata's strikes with his right palm. Ookami was still able to conduct chakra through his left hand, though he wasn't able to move his arm as fast as he was before. Hinata took note of that, and shifted her focus to landing strikes on Ookami's left side. Ookami was quick to catch onto what Hinata was doing, and purposely allowed an opening. Hinata attempted to take advantage of it with a solid palm strike with her right hand, only to take a hit to her right shoulder from Ookami. Hinata spun around, reducing the impact of the blow, and met Ookami's left palm with hers, allowing another eruption of chakra. The two returned to performing palm strikes at one another, allowing their palms to clash. Chakra splashed back and forth as their palms continued to meet between them. The pair shifted focus in their types of strikes. Both were aware they had lost some of their speed after taking direct hits, and opted to shift towards using power over speed. The chakra splashes increased in size while the speed of their strikes decreased. The splashes became bright enough to obscure the sight of the two sparring. It appeared as though there was an aura of both their chakra mixing together around them. The two knocked themselves back with a powerful strike, both nearly losing their footing. They could only grin at one another before resuming.

"Aw man, those two up there are done already? What a rip off," spoke Kamataro.

"I told you this was the one to see. These two are way more serious," spoke Safaia.

"They often are, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Eh?" replied both children.

"Those two could keep this up for hours and not even realize it. Sometimes I have to pull them apart, hm," replied Deidara.

"Why is that?" asked Safaia.

"I struggle to understand myself. He says its because of their bond that they keep up their duels for so long, hm. Perhaps it's his way of saying they understand each other so well they can fight as equals. The only aspect I've ever been able to appreciate is the beauty of the chakra erupting between the two of them. That's true art, hm," replied Deidara.

"I like you," spoke Safaia.

"Bah, sounds queer to me," spoke Kamataro.

"Oh?" asked Deidara.

"Yeah," replied Kamataro.

Deidara set off a small explosive next to the child. The young boy was knocked into the dirt face first.

"Still think that way of my art? Perhaps you need a better demonstration?" asked Deidara, as he held up a larger insect sculpture. Kamataro grumbled to himself under his breath as he picked himself up and dusted himself off.

"I thought as much, hm," replied Deidara.

Ookami and Hinata continued on, both appearing to slow down as their duel continued. The splashes of chakra started to fade. It was apparent the climax of their fight was over. The two paused, and took a look into each others eyes.

"I don't like that look, hm. They're about to do something foolish," spoke Deidara.

"What do you mean?" asked Safaia.

"Watch," replied Deidara.

Both Ookami and Hinata charged chakra into their striking hands. The chakra became intense enough to become visible to those not using a doujutsu. The chakra in their hands began to flicker and flash. At that point, Ookami and Hinata charged at each other, connecting their palms to one another. A bright flash appeared between the two as their chakra collided. The pair were covered in a solid aura of their mixed chakra before being knocked on their backs. The pair appeared to have knocked each other out. Deidara was about to pick the two up before they began to stir. Both sat up, and embraced each other in a hug.

"That was a good match, Hinata-chan," spoke Ookami.

"Hai, arigatou, Ookami-kun," replied Hinata, as she kissed Ookami on the cheek.

"You two had me worried, hm. I thought you knocked each other out again," spoke Deidara.

"Nah, we held back a little this time. It's no fun if we can't hold each other after our spars," replied Ookami.

"It's a good way to cool down," replied Hinata.

"If you two say so. I couldn't do this with Yugito-chan," spoke Deidara.

"Yugito-chan? Who's that?" asked Safaia.

"My lovely girlfriend. She sometimes goes to her home village to see how things are there, hm, in case your wondering why she isn't here," replied Deidara.

"Okay," spoke Safaia.

"Who cares?" replied Kamataro.

"I want to be able to fight like those two! That was amazing!" shouted Safaia.

"Yeah, I'll give them that. It lasted longer than blondie's match with the bunshin," spoke Kamataro.

"I won, keep that in mind. Those two ended in a stalemate, hm," spoke Deidara.

"So what? I was hoping for more action. You two scream action in your fights, and yet nothing happened," spoke Kamataro.

"It's not our preferred method of fighting. It's not nearly as artistic, hm. I prefer to be able to use my art in a battle. It's far more enjoyable, hm," spoke Deidara.

"If you say so. I'm tired of watching. I want to fight someone. I know, I'll fight you," spoke Kamataro.

"Eh? Me?" asked Ookami.

"Yeah, that's right. I want to see if you're as strong as you seem," spoke Kamataro.

"Big talk coming from a three year old," replied Ookami.

"Hey, I'm stronger than I look. Even Safaia could fight you," spoke Kamataro.

"I guess," spoke Safaia.

"Alright, I guess I'll entertain you guys a little. Give it your best shot," spoke Ookami, as he took a basic taijutsu stance.

The two children smiled before charging at Ookami. The Akatsuki member was surprised at the force behind their strikes.

"_I guess I shouldn't underestimate them. They are the children of the kyuubi. That says a bit there. Not to mention they were able to unlock the Sharingan at such a young age. I don't know much about the Uchiha, but I think their accomplishment is unprecedented,"_ thought Ookami.

"_That fox _would_ have children like this, wouldn't she,"_ spoke Renko.

"_I suppose so. Looks like they're using demon chakra. Guess I'll have to fight fire with fire,"_ replied Ookami.

The pair of children began charging chakra into their strikes, causing Ookami to back up a little. The two children continued digging further into their chakra stores until they turned into a pair of one-tailed foxes.

"You have got to be kidding, hm," spoke Deidara.

"I don't think so," spoke Ookami, as he took a solid punch to the face. He was knocked off balance a little. Safaia came at him from behind, and delivered a kick to his back, knocking him down. Kamataro attempted to drill into Ookami while he was on the ground, but Ookami was able to roll out of the way, and kick away Kamataro. Safaia hit Ookami from behind while he was focused on deflecting Kamataro, knocking him slightly off balance, allowing Kamataro enough time to pick himself up and attempt to take advantage of an opening Ookami gave him. Ookami ended up taking two solid hits to his midsection, one from each kid. Ookami coughed a little, but could only smile after he regained his footing.

"Ah, so you guys do have access to a little demon chakra. Okay, if you're going to fight like that... then I'll do this," spoke Ookami, as he ran through a long chain of hand seals.

"Majutsu: Matou! _(Demon Technique: Demonic Ascension)_" shouted Ookami. Ookami's chakra erupted around him and increased in size. The chakra took the form of the rokubi, becoming solid at the end of Ookami's transformation.

"Alright brats, round two!" shouted the transformed Ookami.

The two children attempted to land hits on Ookami, only to have nothing happen, even when they made solid hits on him. Ookami's impressive form wasn't fazed by even the strongest of their moves.

"If you want a spar, I don't advise ma no jutsu _(demon techniques)_, because your a few decades off from being able to give me a challenge in those arts," spoke Ookami.

The two children returned to normal, prompting Ookami to do the same.

"Now, wasn't that fun?" asked Ookami.

"How come you didn't fight Hinata-san like that?" asked Safaia.

"That's not how we have our spars. I don't use the rokubi's chakra unless I need to. The only time I really need to is when I'm fighting against a bijuu or jinchuuriki," replied Ookami. Chakra poured out of Ookami's seal as he was speaking. Before the two children appeared the rokubi herself.

"Oh, Renko-san, decided to come out?" asked Ookami.

"I was already awake, I figured I might as well make an appearance," replied Renko.

"Hello, Renko-sama," spoke Hinata.

"Oh, hello Hinata-chan, Deidara-_chan_," spoke Renko.

"Yeah, yeah," spoke Deidara.

"So, you're the one okaa-san is always talking about," spoke Safaia.

"She says you two are big rivals," spoke Kamataro.

"I suppose that's one way of putting it. We've always tried to outdo each other in one way or another. She always wins out in things involving power, though. I suppose that would be the advantage of having three tails over me," replied Renko.

"She says she's lost to you a couple times," spoke Safaia.

"Hah! More than a couple. She's ashamed to admit it, but I have her beat in contests of the mind. I'm by far the better thinker between the two of us. That's what allows me to get a couple in on her. Of course, it's been a while since the last time we had a challenge. Once the villages started collecting us to make jinchuuriki, it just hasn't been the same. Good thing I got a good kid like Ookami, here," explained Renko.

"I see. Hey, you think we'll get a jinchuuriki?" asked Safaia.

"I don't want one. I'd rather be free like Kawazaki-hentai," replied Kamataro.

Renko started laughing at the sound of Kawazaki being called a pervert.

"I don't want to be like Erokame. He's weird," spoke Safaia.

"Perverted... heh heh... turtle... heh heh..." muttered Renko. Ookami, Deidara, and Hinata were starting to chuckle as well.

"But he's strong. You have to give him that. He's no where near as strong as otou-san and okaa-san, but he's still the leader of the Nananin," spoke Kamataro.

"I don't care. I want to meet someone like Ookami," replied Safaia.

"Oh, wanting to get stuck with a guy, huh?" asked Kamataro.

"Yeah!" shouted Safaia.

"He's dating her, not her!" shouted Kamataro, while pointing at Hinata, then Renko.

"Well... it'll be different for me," replied Safaia.

"It's possible. I would might have dated Renko if I never met Hinata," spoke Ookami.

"Really? I doubt you could handle me," replied Renko.

"Yeah, I suppose. It would be kind of odd, since I do tend to think of you as more of a parental figure. Well, now more as a sister," explained Ookami.

"I guess," replied Renko.

"See, they say it could happen, so there!" shouted Safaia, while sticking her tongue out at Kamataro.

"Bah, whatever," spoke Kamataro.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry, hm," spoke Deidara.

"I wonder if Mikoto-san has dinner ready yet?" asked Ookami.

"I am feeling a little hungry after our duel," replied Hinata.

"Well, if Hinata-chan is hungry, then it's time to eat. Come on guys," spoke Ookami.

"Hai!" shouted the children.

The members of Akatsuki filed into the dining area one by one. The smell of Mikoto's cooking began to fill the living areas of the base, drawing the attention of all the members. The smell of her cooking was even enough to lift Nagato's spirits, prompting him to finally stop the rain he started when Konan was angry with him.

"Well, that's everyone," spoke Mikoto.

"That's right, Kisame, Itachi, and Itachi's family are on that little 'training' mission of theirs," spoke Hidan.

"I did tell them about that village. It needs to be taken care of. If he wants to use it as an opportunity to train his children, far be it for me to dispute it," spoke Nagato.

"Otou-san thought of the same idea. He had us wipe out a village of rebels a month or two ago," spoke Safaia.

"That was fun," spoke Kamataro.

"Wait, you two can take down a village on your own, but you need us to protect you?" asked Kakuzu.

"Well, that village was full of bandits. Otou-san said the people after us are likely S-Class shinobi," spoke Kamataro.

"No complaints. There are far worse things he could have us do, as Hidan illustrated for us," spoke Nagato.

"Yeah, the idea of shoving anything up Gedo Mazo's behind is just plain... wrong," spoke Ookami.

"I wonder what Itachi is up to?" asked white Zetsu.

"Likely causing all kinds of problems," replied black Zetsu.

In a bandit village in Tsuchi no Kuni, the leader of the village was making a speech before all of the citizens of the village.

"As you all know, the group known as Akatsuki has taken surrogate control over the world!" shouted the leader of the village. His response came in the form of shouts of disapproval.

"The village of Tokusa will not stand for this any longer! We will hunt them down, and show them that we are ruled by no one!!" shouted the leader of the village. The cheers continued until a Fuuma Shuriken took off the head of the village leader.

"My my, that man was too loud for my tastes," spoke Kiyomi.

"Who the Hell are you!?" shouted several of the villagers. Silence dawned upon them as they saw the red clouds on her outfit.

"Akatsuki!!" shouted the villagers. Every throwing weapon in the villagers possession was thrown in the direction of Kiyomi. She could only smile as she pulled out a katana and deflected every last weapon that had a chance of hitting her. She activated her Byakugan, and took a look into the crowd.

"My, my, there's no one out there who even stands a chance at giving me a challenge, except for that one over there," spoke Kiyomi, as she pointed at someone within the crowd. The person in the crowd being Itachi. Several of the villagers made the mistake of looking Itachi in the eye. All of them fell prey to one of Itachi's genjutsu. Itachi made the villagers believe their village was being attacked by the kyuubi no youko. The villagers screamed out in pain as they felt like they were being torn apart and burned alive. Itachi took care of making it real with several slashes of his katana and several katon no jutsu. _(fire techniques)_ Those nearby thought to charge at Itachi, only to see two children in the way.

"What are you children doing here? It's dangerous... wait... red clouds... you're with them!?" shouted a woman.

"We're not 'children,' as you say," replied Akemi, while looking at the woman with her Byakugan.

"We're here to mop up this village," replied Kuromi, while looking at the woman with her Sharingan.

The two girls cut the woman down with their katana. The villagers surrounding them pulled out several weapons, and pointed them at the two girls.

"You're all in my range," spoke Akemi.

"Oh, come on, do you have to use _that_ jutsu?" asked Kuromi.

"I'll leave a couple for you," spoke Akemi, as she took a Hyuga stance.

"Hakke Sanjuuni Hi no Shou! _(Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms of Fire)_" shouted Akemi. The villagers around the young girl were hit with powerful bursts of fire chakra. From the outside, it would seem as though nothing was wrong with the villagers that were hit. On the inside, their internal organs were heavily burnt. The villagers she hit coughed up blood and died from internal trauma. Another of the villagers attempted to get to Akemi from behind, only to be cut down by Kuromi.

"Did you have to let your guard down like that?" asked Kuromi.

"Who said I did? I saw you coming, so I figured I had nothing to worry about," replied Akemi.

"Oh, right... 365 vision..." muttered Kuromi.

"Well, hey, at least you can do those scary genjutsu like Otou-san," replied Akemi.

"True," spoke Kuromi, as she stared into the eyes of a group of villagers before her. She placed them within a world where they were all bound to a wall of some kind. Spikes slowly came out of the walls, torturing those bound to them. Kuromi cut down those she had caught in her trap.

"This is boring... I thought this was supposed to be training?" spoke Kuromi.

"Well, this is the first time we've helped them on a mission. I guess they wanted to give us an easy one to start," replied Akemi.

"Yeah, maybe... but can't there be at least one of them able to put up some kind of resistance?" asked Kuromi, as she impaled a bandit on the end of her katana.

"I see your point," spoke Akemi, as she threw a fuuma shuriken through a line of attackers.

"Geez, not one of them was able to dodge that? That's sad," spoke Kuromi.

Kiyomi and Itachi found themselves surrounded by a group of bandits. The remaining bandits in the village opted to give one last stand, rather than be taken down one by one. They smiled amongst themselves, thinking their numbers gave them an advantage.

"Oh dear, we're surrounded," spoke Kiyomi.

"Yeah," spoke Itachi.

"Hey, Itachi!" shouted Kisame, as he leaped into the middle of the ring of bandits.

"Where have you been?" asked Itachi.

"Oh, taking care of the guard posts on the other side of the village. Figured I would make sure all of them were gone," replied Kisame.

"We're just about done here," spoke Itachi.

"You should see your daughters. They've torn through just about everyone else in that half of the village. Looks like they actually might finish before you," replied Kisame.

"We focused on the parts of the village with the greater number of bandits," spoke Kiyomi.

"Oh, is that it?" asked Kisame.

"Something like that," spoke Kiyomi.

"Hey, Itachi, want to play the speed game?" asked Kisame.

"Hm? Sure," spoke Itachi, as he pulled out his trusty beer scroll. He unsealed a drink for his partner.

"I wouldn't sip it if I were you," spoke Itachi.

"Oh, they're that weak, huh? Okay then. Better get ready... san... ni... ichi..." spoke Kisame, as he popped the cap off of the bottle. Kiyomi and Itachi disappeared in a flash. Several screams could be heard as the bandits surrounding the group began to fall. A couple opted to charge at Kisame, only for the shark-nin to remove their faces with the Samehada in one hand, and his beer in the other.

"_Damn, I had to slow down for a second to take care of those pests... darn, well, maybe I should try and enjoy the drink a little more, since we have to sober up with the little demons at home,"_ thought Kisame, as he continued to down the beer in his hand.

"Katon: Housenka no Jutsu!" shouted Itachi, as he sent a barrage of fireballs at the remaining bandits on his side.

"Take this!" shouted Kiyomi, as she threw a pair of fuuma shuriken into the remaining bandits on her side. Those in her path were all cut in half along the waist. The last of the bandits fell, while Kisame still had a quarter of a bottle left to go.

"Damn, you were right, I should have gulped it down!" shouted Kisame.

"I told you," spoke Itachi.

"I wonder how the kids are doing?" asked Kiyomi.

As if on cue, a couple of bloody bandits hobbled in their direction.

"Little..." muttered one of the bandits.

"Demons..." muttered the other.

"Little demons? They're back at our base right now, if you must know," spoke Itachi.

There was a puzzled expression on the look of the two bandits before a pair of katana from Akemi and Kuromi ran through them. The two bandits fell to the ground, life quickly leaving their bodies.

"That was boring," spoke Kuromi.

"Can we take on a shinobi village next time?" asked Akemi.

"That depends on Leader-sama. We go where he tells us," spoke Itachi.

"I'm sure there will be a village we can take care of in our travels. There's bound to be a clan village or two out there that wants to try and prove their worth. We'll make sure we're the ones that get to take care of it," replied Kiyomi.

"Hai-i! " shouted Akemi and Kuromi.

"Well, since you happened to mention it, I wonder how they are doing back at the base?" asked Kisame.

"It's not our problem until our return," spoke Itachi.

"I'm with him. I raised three year old Uchiha once. I'm not doing it again," replied Kiyomi.

"At least they got past their 'burn everything' stage after I taught them katon no jutsu," spoke Itachi.

"Hai, Leader-sama didn't seem to find it amusing when they torched the couch," replied Kiyomi.

"While Kakuzu was sleeping on it, too. They're lucky Hidan was there to take the heat for them," spoke Kisame.

In Amegakure, Kakuzu let out a random sneeze, startling everyone in the room with him.

"You catching a cold?" asked Konan.

"It's nothing," replied Kakuzu, as he started to drift off back to sleep.

"Bah, it would be nice if he got sick. Maybe he would lay off of me for a couple days," spoke Hidan.

"Hidan, that's amazing!" shouted Ookami.

"Ah, it is, hm," spoke Deidara.

"That's quite the achievement, Hidan-san," spoke Hinata.

"Eh? What are you talking about?" asked Hidan.

"You managed to insult Kakuzu without swearing once, hm," replied Deidara.

"Yeah, yeah, it's only because I don't want to be turned into a kami yamaarashi, _(paper porcupine)_" replied Hidan.

"Good reason," spoke Ookami.

Konan had a smile on her face.

"What?" asked Hidan.

"I was thinking of how much fun it would be to do that to you," replied Konan.

"That's my Konan-chan for you," spoke Nagato.

"You two are sick," replied Hidan.

"I lead a group of S-class shinobi, and have control over the world through the threat of using the ultimate weapon on anyone dumb enough to take arms against me. Konan's desire to impale you with paper is tame by comparison," explained Nagato.

"And let's face it, a religion that demands nothing short of complete slaughter ain't exactly normal, either," spoke Ookami.

"You heathens just can't appreciate how wonderful it is. You're all jealous you lack the determination to follow Jashin-sama," replied Hidan.

"Not interested," spoke Ookami.

"I still have a chance with those brats," spoke Hidan.

"Yeah... if they were awake, they'd be busy finding other ways to dismember you, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Maybe we should teach the kids the fun of Hidan-ball," spoke Nagato.

"Fuck you!!" shouted Hidan, while giving Nagato the one-finger salute.

"Welcome back, Hidan," spoke Ookami.

"Fuck you, too, bastards!!" shouted Hidan.

"So much for peace and quiet..." muttered Sasori. He was busy reading a novel about a puppet that was brought to life, and spent its time searching for a reason to exist, and a human heart. Something which Sasori found an odd irony in. Nana was reading a book about places full of natural beauty.

"It never lasts around here, does it?" asked Nana.

"I don't suppose so," replied Sasori.

"Well, excuse me!" shouted Hidan, "I'm going to my ritual chamber."

Hidan made his way out of the room. Hidan was hoping to find a chance to relax through experiencing excruciating pain. What he found in his chamber brought him a great headache.

"Fucking brats!!" shouted Hidan.

"Hey, Konan-san said you're not allowed to use those words around us," spoke Safaia.

"Yeah, you better watch it, or we'll tell Konan-san about what you're saying," spoke Kamataro.

"Like I give a flying fuck! You two are in my ritual chamber. Here, it's my way, or you die!!" shouted Hidan.

"What are all these things for, anyway?" asked Kamataro.

"You really want to know?" asked Hidan, as he snatched a pike out of Kamataro's hand.

"They're for this!" shouted Hidan, as he made a motion to impale Kamataro. He barely missed, hitting himself in the leg. Hidan let out a smile at the look of fear on Kamataro's face.

"H-hey, you're supposed to protect us!" shouted Kamataro.

"I don't give a fuck! What, are your parents going to kill me, or something? I'm an immortal, I fear nothing and no one!" shouted Hidan.

"You're scary!" shouted Safaia, as she dropped the blade she was holding, and backed away from the crazed priest.

"What, did you think you brats were going to get away with what you did to me earlier? Hell no, there's no free rides in this place!!" shouted Hidan, as he pulled out his scythe. He cut open his wrists, and made a Jashin circle on the ground.

"What are you doing?" asked Kamataro.

"I'm going to show you both the power of Jashin-sama!" shouted Hidan.

"Otou-san said something like this might happen... guess we should do what he told us," spoke Safaia.

"I don't about you, but I'm going to have fun," replied Kamataro, as he activated his Sharingan. Safaia did the same. Both preceded to turn into their demon forms.

"Oh, would you look at that? You little bastards can transform? Well, now what?" asked Hidan.

There were two grinning foxes in the room in one second. They were gone in the next second.

"Hah! Brats ran away!" shouted Hidan.

The Jashinist took note of the extreme pain he felt in his legs at that moment. He looked down to see two foxes tearing off his legs, and eating at them. Hidan immediately fell to the ground.

"He tastes good!" shouted Safaia.

"Itadakimasu!" shouted Kamataro.

"Ahh!!" shouted Hidan, as he started swinging his scythe around violently. His swinging stopped when his arm was bitten off.

"You little brats! I'm going to fucking kill you!" shouted Hidan, who was now both armless and legless.

"Hey, I wonder what his brain tastes like?" asked Kamataro.

"I want to find out!" shouted Safaia.

"Let's see who gets to eat his head first!" shouted Kamataro.

"What! Hey, that's my ear! Hey, let go! That fucking hurts! Stop it!! Ahh!!" shouted Hidan.

Zetsu was looking around the base for something. He saw everyone in the living area, and approached them.

"Hey, you guys see the brats anywhere?" asked white Zetsu.

"Whitey fell asleep when it was his turn to keep an eye on them," spoke black Zetsu.

"What!?" shouted Nagato.

"Zetsu!!" shouted Konan.

"Hey, I was out for thirty seconds at most!" shouted white Zetsu.

"You know that's more than enough time for shinobi trained brats to get away from us!!" shouted black Zetsu.

"Will you two stop arguing! We need to find them before they get themselves into trouble!!" shouted Nagato.

"What's the worst that could happen to them? They can't get into the prison area, so we don't have to worry about them finding Orochimaru," spoke white Zetsu.

"Most of our rooms are locked," replied black Zetsu.

"Who's room is left open?" asked Nagato.

"I think Hidan leaves his room unlocked most of the time," spoke Ookami.

"And he just went to his ritual chamber, hm... wait, you don't think..." spoke Deidara.

"Oh boy," spoke Ookami and Deidara in unison.

"Hinata-chan, can you see into Hidan's ritual chamber?" asked Ookami.

"Hai! Byakugan!" shouted Hinata.

"Are they in there?" asked Nagato.

"I see them, but I don't see any sign of Hidan," replied Hinata.

"Eh? Where could he have gone?" asked Ookami.

Kamataro and Safaia emerged from Hidan's room. Both appeared to have satisfied looks on their faces.

"Why were you two in Hidan's room?" asked Konan.

"You had us worried," spoke Nagato.

"We wanted to play with his ritual things," replied Safaia.

"You shouldn't go into other people's rooms, even if they leave their door open," spoke Konan.

"Yeah, Hidan was really scary when he found us, but don't worry, we're alright," replied Safaia.

"What happened to Hidan? I didn't see him when I looked into his room," asked Hinata.

"You can see into his room? How did you do that?" asked Kamataro.

"My doujutsu, the Byakugan," replied Hinata.

"Oh, we've heard of it before, but we've never seen it," replied Safaia.

"We'll tell you about it another time. So, what happened to Hidan?" asked Ookami.

Kamataro let out a loud burp that sounded like "fuck you."

"Kamataro!!" shouted Konan.

"It wasn't me!" shouted Kamataro.

The group could hear more swearing coming from Kamataro.

"What is that sound... wait... you can't be serious..." spoke Ookami.

"They would, wouldn't they, hm?" asked Deidara.

"Serves him right," spoke Kakuzu. It couldn't be seen, but he had a rather large grin on his stitched face.

"You ate Hidan?" asked white Zetsu.

"I like you brats, you're all right," spoke black Zetsu.

"He tastes like steak!" shouted Kamataro.

"Well seasoned, too!" replied Safaia.

"You're kidding, right?" asked Ookami.

"I don't think they are, hm," replied Deidara.

"I don't want to be around when he comes out," spoke Hinata.

"I forgot about that... well, hopefully it won't take too long for him to regenerate... yeah..." muttered Ookami.

"I won't miss him for the week it will take for him to recover," spoke Kakuzu.

"I'm pretty sure of that," spoke Nagato.

"Hey! We're back!!" shouted Kuromi.

"Eh? You guys are back early, aren't you?" asked Nagato.

"We found a couple shortcuts," spoke Akemi.

"Fair enough. How did it go?" asked Nagato.

"We kicked ass!" shouted Kisame, as he came through the door.

"I see. Hopefully that will send a message to the other villages out there who wish to bear arms against us in the future," spoke Nagato.

"If it were that simple, we wouldn't have had need to go out to begin with," replied Itachi.

"I know. It's not easy keeping everyone in check. As time passes by, another demonstration of our power will be needed. That is the way it is," spoke Nagato.

"I see, so you were aware of that. Good," replied Itachi.

"I was also curious as to how you were going to do that. I thought you may have been a little too quick to allow Nana to remain here. I see you had already planned that far ahead," spoke Sasori.

"Of course. Madara knows that much to keep an eye on the sanbi and kyuubi. Yugito can easily keep an eye on the hachibi. We could always retrieve the gobi and yonbi as we please," replied Nagato.

"Hey, where's Hidan? I see everyone is here except him? He out causing himself more pain in one of those rituals of his?" asked Kisame.

Everyone could here mumbling coming from Kamataro. It sounded like someone was saying something along the lines of "I'm over here, fucktards."

"Oh..." muttered Kisame.

Itachi turned away and took Kiyomi, Akemi, and Kuromi to their room. Kisame stared at the two young demons before him.

"_I hope these guys don't get a taste for sushi,"_ thought Kisame.

"I feel sleepy again, let's go back to bed," spoke Kamataro.

"Oh, right, Kamataro-chan," replied Safaia.

The pair returned to their room. They were given the room Tobi used to use before he returned to Kiri. Due to the immaturity of Tobi, the décor in the room easily catered to small children.

"Those two could be trouble," spoke Kisame.

"You just have to know how to put them in their place," spoke Renko, as she appeared next to Ookami.

"That's right, they know not to start something with us. I'm pretty sure you and Nana can help in that area, too, right Sasori-san?" asked Ookami.

"Hai," replied Sasori.

"I suppose," replied Nana.

"Don't worry, Sasori no Danna, they back down when they see a bunch of tails flying around, hm," spoke Deidara.

"Something to keep in mind," spoke Sasori.

"It's getting late. We should retire for the evening. Good night, everyone," spoke Nagato, as he and Konan headed to their room. Everyone else was soon to follow, except for Hidan, who continued to swear in Kamataro's stomach throughout the night. Much to Hidan's dismay, the little demon was able to sleep through his constant shouting.

_A/N: The name of the village Itachi and family went to, Tokusa, can be spelled as __木賊__, where __木 __means wood and __賊 __means rebel. A fitting name for a village of bandits attempting to rebel against Akatsuki. Thank you for reading, and don't forget to review._


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